The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Your insight is right on. Thank you for a piece that trains our senses toward those who need us.
This is a powerful message. I can see that you have a real passion about this subject and it shows in your words.

The one thing I might suggest is to do more showing than telling. For example in the beginning show the reader what is happen with something like this: She crouches in the corner raising her hands to protect her face from the assault of his fists.
Something like that will paint a picture for the reader and draw them in.

I do think you did a nice job of merging your message with the topic. The verses you chose were a great fit. You covered a horrible subject in a way that will help others to reach out and make a difference.
Very powerful and true.
Reflective and pensive entry. Nicely done.
God bless~
Hi Janice -

Wow! That's a powerful message that is vitally necessary to spread...

Thank you for writing about an issue that is so painful but hopeful with available solutions...

Yes, indeed, more people need to help those in such conditions...

Love in action - for real..
Congratulations on ranking 6 in level two!