The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Wow. Clever application of theme. Loved the way you used multiple context's of the word flat. Your character was believeable, compelling, and likeable.

My only comment would be to put a line space in-between paragraphs. I don't think this matters much as far as judging goes, since it's my understanding they focus on content-and your content was great. But adding line spaces will make it easier for readers.

Well done!
You did an awesome job on this piece. I was immediately drawn in by the conflict. The voice of the MC really helped to develop his personality. I felt like I had been transported back to the 70's.

The only thing I might caution you on is some of the words would be considered swearing and could be a cause for the story to be pulled from the challenge. Though the words fit the MC, you still want to be careful in how you use them. This story has an awesome message and I'd hate to see it pulled.

The ending was spectacular and left me feeling satisfied with no questions lingering. That's not ready to do in a limited word count. You covered the topic quite well and used several of the definitions while still keeping the transitions smooth. This was a great read and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
This was intense! Wow - good job and fantastic piece of writing. God bless~
I enjoyed your voice - authentic, articulate, action-packed!
Keep up the good writing.