The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/16/12
A very clever and well written story. I enjoyed it from start to the very last word. Nicely done, and certainly on topic.

Thanks. God Bless~
I so agree with what you have written. You did an outstanding job telling about the coming feast with the Lamb.
08/18/12
I love your mothers story. It is the way the feast fits.
Keep writing for the Lord!
I really enjoyed this. At the beginning I thought it was going to be a children's story which is my favorite genre. Then when you went into the morale of the story I was surprised but thought the message was absolutely perfect.

The one thing I might suggest would be to just stick to one example. With such a small word limit, it's hard to focus on different Bible examples. They are great examples but I think you could put each one in it's own story.

I really did enjoy this. You covered the topic in a fresh way. I think the first part would be an outstanding idea for a children's devotion. If you would like a mote thorough critic feel free to PM. I could see this being a great addition to a children's magazine. It needs a bit of polishing but has great potential. You left me with a lot to think about. Your message is perfect especially with the shape the world is in right now.

Keep writing. God is using you to tell stories that will impact more people than you can imagine and in different ways than you might suspect.
I have to admit, I was so enthralled with the story at the beginning, I was disappointed when you broke into a lesson. (The transition might have been smoother.) But the more I read, the more I understood the story of the stork and the fox. And by the end I didn't want to stop reading. Thank you for this blessing today!