The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
That is an interesting story line you have there. I enjoyed reading it.
This is a great story. You drew me in right away and made me want tokeep reading.

One thing that would make this story even better would be to show thereader instead of telling. For ex: instead of telling she kept busy with housework, show the reader like this: Jennifer swept the kitchen floor but her eyes kept flitting to the clock. She bit her lip; the taste of blood jolted her.
This shows she did housework but also shows she is anxious.

You have a wonderful idea for a story here. The ending surprised me and that doesn't happen often.
Wow - excellent job with this. Nicely done. I worked with a high-risk psych population in group homes, as well as nursing homes...and you've managed to portray the mind of a multiple personality/dissociative identity disorder. While counseling an individual with this disorder, he switched from one personality to the other within seconds.

It was a sad ending, but a realistic one at that. Very well written entry.

Thank you for bringing this "sad disorder" into the open. Thank you.

God bless~
This was a very interesting story. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
You were on topic with this story. I found joining a peer group helped me with positive feedback.