Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Our Mutual Friend (not about the book) (09/15/11)
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TITLE: Ever Present | Previous Challenge Entry
By Keith Reimert
09/19/11 -
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Thunder shook the windows and the little boy started awake. He sat up brusquely as the fringes of his nightmare melted away. His heart pounded in his chest, constricting in his throat allowing him to wheeze for breath. He prayed he could chase the nightmare from his mind, but another blue flash lit his room making his chest feel even tighter.
Heat began to flush his face and his eyes brimmed with tears. His mouth opened to cry out for his mother, but the flash provided another vision; a man seated at the foot of his bed.
The nightmare disappeared and the storm was forgotten as the little boy stared at the figure outlined in shadow. He knew he’d seen His face before, but could it be Him here now? Could the man from his Sunday School lessons really be sitting with him?
“Jesus?” the boy whispered.
“Yes, my son?” came the reply.
The little boy gasped. Was he still dreaming? Jesus died a long time ago. How could He be here now?
“But You did come back from the dead, didn’t You, Jesus?”
“I did, because I love you. You don’t need to fear any more; not your dream, not this storm and not even the darkness that surrounds you. I will help you get through it all.”
The little boy’s heartbeat slowed and a smile curved his face. His breath evened as he lay down on his pillow again, a newfound peace relaxing his little frame. He knew nothing could hurt him now.
“When did you get here, Jesus?”
“But I never left, I’ve always been with you.”
A question furrowed his little brow.
“And if I died before I waked?” He asked as he stared at the ceiling, his voice never wavering.
“Then I would carry you home with Me. No matter what, I’ll always be here."
The little boy’s smile widened and he closed his eyes, pulling his blanket up to his chin as he drifted into a serene slumber.
Sunlight basked the room and the boy bolted up. His head snapped as he looked around his room, but he didn’t see Jesus any more. Had it all been a dream? He shook his head as another grin creased his face and a chuckle rolled over his lips.
“What’s so funny?” he heard his mother ask as she walked into the room, “I thought you’d be afraid last night and call for me, but you didn’t. You’re so brave, little man.”
She sat next to him and put her arm around him.
“I didn’t need to be scared,” he informed her, “Because I have Jesus with me. He sat with me the whole time. In fact he’s been here all along.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. She cupped his face with her hands and stared into his eyes.
“That’s right, son. He’s been with us, right here in our hearts, since He walked out of the tomb. And He always will be.”
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I recently saw in the faithwriters rules that when we quote scripture, we must include the translation. You might want to look up that rule.
I thought it a little odd that you used the word "but" at the beginning of two sentences, where it didn't seem to fit.
I loved your gripping description of the little boy's fear at the beginning. Coming up with ways to "show" fear is something I'm always working on. You did a great job. Nice story. :)