The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/03/11
I'm not sure I know who your MC is in this entry. I think of angels having different assignments. I would suggest spacing between paragraphs to make reading easier. Thanks for sharing.
Your story was interesting and suspenseful. At first I thought the MC was a demon, then I thought maybe an angel. Don't be afraid to use all 750 words to describe the MC. Paint a picture for the reader so we can visualize him. Either way, the message is a good one. Things can change in a blink of an eye, It's so important to really believe and have a relationship with God, not just go through the motions.
Twenty four hours for most isn't very long, but for some twenty four hours is more than enough to save a lost soul. I wanted more of where your story was going. I enjoyed this.
02/06/11
a great idea, i would liked you to have continued on a bit more and developed it further. What you have written is clever and engaging.