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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Flowers (10/03/05)
Wedding Memories





I walked into the beauty salon and my hairdresser and I exchanged pleasantries. The first thing she told me was that she had just gotten her flowers for her wedding that is coming up in two weeks. I remembered that
she told me about the wedding the last several times that I had been in to see her. I had been going to have
my hair done for several months now with her.

There were two boxes of flowers for the bridal party. Her bouquet was white roses with white satin ribbons flowing everywhere. The others were rose colored with matching ribbons.

She was bubbling with happiness. You could see the sparkle in her eyes that only a bride to be has. I was
very happy for her. I truly in my heart was happy for her.

She started to work on my hair and I found my mind reverting back to a wedding a long time ago. I remembered the flowers on fans for our wedding party. I remembered the sparkle in my eyes and the smile of pure happiness in my heart. The memories came flooding back like a movie being replayed in my mind.

Then like a cold splash of water being thrown on me, I remembered that next week I will be going for my divorce.

When I was paying at the cash register, I told her that I was so very happy for her and I wished her the best. I would be seeing her in about five weeks again. She said that she would be starting a new life when I saw her again and I thought to myself that I too would be starting a new life...
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Melanie Kerr 
10/11/05
That worked almost as an introduction to a much longer look at marriage and what sometimes goes wrong.
Jan Ackerson
10/11/05
A few picky details first: if her wedding is two weeks away, those flowers are going to be in sad, sad shape by then (unless you make it clear that they are artificial flowers). Also, instead of "...you could see the sparkle in her eyes..." use "...I could see..." (it's best to avoid 2nd person voice). I very much appreciated the grace with which your narrator wished the hairdresser well, and the fact that she is trying hard not to be bitter. Although God is not mentioned, He is implied in the narrator's efforts to be gracious. Thank you.
Alexandra Wilkin
10/12/05
A little short - would have liked more background parallels between the narrator and the bride-to-be hairdresser - this felt as though something was being 'held back' from the reader. Lots of promise in this - perhaps work it up for an article submission. God bless.