The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
09/19/05
Well told...A disturbing picture of the horrible effects of adultery and its destruction of the family.
09/19/05
Oh wow. Really powerful writing. Any you are right. God hates! He hates sin. He hates divorce. C.S.Lewis said that adultery is an offence against values that we take for granted, like keeping one's promises, and trust, respect, honesty. No wonder it comes just after murder in the Ten Commandments. It kills relationships and families and so much besides. Thanks for writing this.
Thanks for writing a very good story about a very sad situation. I am so glad we serve a God of mercy.
I wish you would have kept in a "story" form and removed yourself directly from the story... it was powerful, but I think could have been made even more so. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Amy Verlennich
09/20/05
I agree with Amy; you could have left off the second sentence, and everything after the giggling began again, then expanded the story...maybe an observed confrontation with the man's wife, or some such. Let the readers draw the conclusions. Good job ofconveying your narrator's feelings and discomfort.
I know the pain of adultery only too well. Thank you for this, it was well told, and whilst it evoked some painful memories it uplifted me in my faith. God bless.
09/28/05
Tracie, this was a strong piece with a very strong message. The experience you related is one that, unfortunately, is all too common these days. Tragic. You did well and you rated very well with the Level 2 judges, ranking 9th out of the 36 entries for that level. With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)