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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Shhh. (02/18/10)
“Shhh. Boys, you were put to bed and you are suppose to be sleeping and I can still hear you talking. If you don’t stop talking I’ll spank you. I haven’t spanked you for a long time, but when I put you to bed you are suppose to go to sleep. Is that clear.” I said exasperatedly.

In unison my three sons replied. “OK” and they were silent for about 5 minutes and the chatter started all over again. My oldest son was so excited when I heard him tell Billy and Jon-Jon to just keep watching the stars. My patience was wearing thin and this time I yelled quite loudly to shut up or I might spank them. My husband, Mike, lowered his new paper and looked at me with a surprised look upon his face.

“Honey, what is causing you to be so upset? You are not usually like this. We haven’t spanked the boys since they were old enough to understand right from wrong and the consequences for disobedience. Are you feeling all right?” Mike said with a concerned look on his face.

“Oh, Mike, Fran called needing 6 dozen tea cookies next Thursday. Sally was suppose to bake them, but she fell and sprained her ankle and then Monica called telling me Jeffy has chicken pox and Jon-Jon may get them. After that Elaine called and told me that some of the new teachers were telling the children it was improper to talk about Jesus in school.” I said as tears ran down my cheeks.

“Lily, honey, it sounds like you had a pretty rough day. Come sit down and tell me all about your day. It sounds like one of those Murphy’s law days. What can go wrong will go wrong. Honey, Jon-Jon had chicken pox and Mr. Hadley, our faithful principal, will take care of the situation with those new teachers just like he did last year. By the looks of your eyes you have one of those nasty headaches which only adds to a day like today. Honey, everything is going to be all right you just wait and see.” Mike said as he held me in his arms and gave me a tender kiss.

“Mike you always know just the right words to say to calm me down. Six dozen tea cookies by next Thursday I may have to call mom. She loves making those cookies. I love you Mike and I do have one of those bad headaches. A little peace and quiet will help if the boys will go to sleep.”

“Mom, Dad you’ve got to look out our window. God is putting on a light show.” Mikey said excitedly.

We made our way to their bedroom with Mike’s arms holding me close.

“Boys, I know you understand when I tell you to shhh, and go to sleep. Now what has gotten you all so excited?” I asked.

“Mom, Dad, look at the stars. Now keep looking and you will see, there, there did you see it? You must have seen it. They are so beautiful and God made all of them. There goes another one. You must have seen that one. God is so awesome. We love watching the stars and just listening to the silence.” Mikey said excitedly.

“You like listening to the silence and watching shooting stars. Did I get that right? Honey, when there is silence you have no sound so how do you hear it?” I said with an amused look on my face.

“Mom, Dad, silence makes a noise, but you hear it with your heart. It’s very special and you feel closer to God, because that’s God voice in your heart. You know His still quiet voice. Mikey replied quietly.

Mike and I hugged and kissed our precious sons. “Mikey you may only be 11, but you are very wise. If you listen you hear Gods silence in your heart and His silence is golden. Now stop watching the stars and go to sleep, you have school tomorrow. Good night.” I said as Mike and I kissed our sons good night while chuckling to ourselves.

We slowly made our way down the hall arm in arm and gave thanks to God for our many blessings, even the unexpected ones which sometimes upsets us. They give us pause and that’s when the still small voice of God is sometimes blocked and we pay the price. Yes, God’ silence is golden.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Judy Wood
02/26/10
Sometimes we get all stressed out and need our "quiet time" with God. I think moms definitely have these moments when they are overwhelmed. Thanks for the reminder.
Lisha Hunnicutt
02/27/10
This piece was a good reminder that sometimes we need to stop and listen to our children because they can teach us something. When you use quotation marks, you need to put a comma at the end of what was said and then follow it up with said Mikey (or whoever the character is). For example, one of your lines was written as follows:

“Mom, Dad you’ve got to look out our window. God is putting on a light show.” Mikey said excitedly.

It should be like this:

“Mom, Dad you’ve got to look out our window. God is putting on a light show,” Mikey said excitedly.

You need a comma after show, not a period. This was a consistent error throughout your piece so that is why I mentioned it. However, the message of your piece was beautiful. I especially liked when one of the boys said that silence makes a noise that you hear with your heart. Wow! Keep up the good work.

Jan Ackerson
03/03/10
Sweet story with loving characters.

I'd love to have you stop by my forums class on dialog skills!

I loved the parents' wonderful attitudes toward their children.