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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Shhh. (02/18/10)
A crash, a lie, a story told
A loss, a life, a heart grown cold
A mission that has lost it's goal.
A silent outcry, shhh it's old.

I told myself, forget the past.
Yet memories wouldn't cease to last.
I tried to hide, I tried to sleep.
But shhh my heart, you mustn't weep.

Those eyes of fear, they look at me.
That tragic moment, I must flee.
My stupid actions mockingly
Torment my mind, shhh, I won't see.

Our Mama trusted me with you.
Yet I neglected to be true.
Engulfed with friends, I had my fun,
But shhh, the accidents been done.

I should have held your hand in mine.
I wish I could go back in time.
And then I lied to hide my shame,
But shhh, I know that I'm the blame.

The car that hit you sped away.
I lost my happiness that day.
Betrayed our mama with a lie,
But shhh, my soul, now don't you cry.

And what can cleanse me down with in?
I'm laden 'neath a load of sin.
I turn my heart against mankind;
Shhh, I must to hide my crime.

I fight, I steal, I mock and kill,
Denying God and all that's real,
Beholding evil, scorning truth,
But shhh, it's life, I'm just a youth.

I hold a death wish in my heart.
I'm longing for a brand new start.
If only I had done what's right.
But shhh, I must accept my plight.

I seek agape love unknown.
I seek for freedom from my wrong.
I seek to be all new again.
I seek a true and loving friend.

But shhh, my soul, be quiet now.
The things you're seeking can't be found.
If only one would come and sow
The things my heart does long to know.
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This article has been read 1043 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Charla Diehl
02/26/10
Gripping tale of a tormented soul told through this poem. Keep writing.
Judy Wood
02/26/10
Good job of showing the feelings of someone who's lost and doesn't know God. They don't know that friend and peace is in Christ.
Philippa Geaney
02/28/10
Wow! Well done. Got your message and it spurs me on to be the bearer of wonderful news.
Marilyn Schnepp 
02/28/10
Very sad and haunting tale of a teenager who has lost his or her way - and can't seem to get rid of the torment within. Nicely done. You hit the nail on the head when it comes to this weeks Topic..."Shhh"; From one poet to another, "Well Done", (And by the way, the first piece I ever sold to a magazine was a poem) - so keep writing! There's nothing like seeing your name in Print!
Mildred Sheldon
03/01/10
Beautiful. This poem flowed like a never ending river. I enjoyed this immensely. Keep writing.
Jan Ackerson
03/03/10
This is VERY good! I enjoyed both the story and the poetic skills--my favorite so far at this level.

A teensy correction in these two lines:

A mission that has lost it's goal.
A silent outcry, shhh it's old.

In the first of those two lines, your its should not have an apostrophe. The possessive its is like his or hers--no apostrophe. Your second one is fine--there the it's stands for the two words it is.

This is a very, very well-done poem!