The Official Writing Challenge
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Really interesting story line....I think when the challenge is over you should add to this and make it more complete...because I want to know what happens not only who the heart goes to and how that turns out but what happens to surfer dude! Write on!
This was very well written; I really got into your MC's frustration. A suggestion: a misspelling and a couple of misplaced punctuation marks kind of slowed me down, so be a little careful with that. It was a REALLY well-done story, and I agree that it should be expanded!
What a well written story. I would love to read more about the heart and surfer dude. I love the way you got his attention.