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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Adolescence/Teen Years (07/16/09)
Virgin Values
Expecting a teen to hold on to their virginity in a society that celebrates promiscuity while scoffing at the notion of remaining chaste is unrealistic at best, but I say this opinion is nothing more than a cop out. We as parents are responsible for giving our children the tools to withstand the obvious peer pressure they will be exposed to during their teen years. We teach our children to stay away from drugs and alcohol, and yet we timidly accept that teen sex is just inevitable. If we do our jobs as parents, and we teach our children self respect, having sex at thirteen might not seem like such a good idea.
I was very fortunate to have a grandmother who warned me on a daily basis of what could happen if I were to “give it up” to just anyone. Her warnings although making me laugh, also helped me to remain a virgin far beyond high school, and for that I will always be grateful.
She explained to me the value of ones virginity. Once it is given, to each different recipient afterwards it becomes less valuable, less meaningful, and eventually irrelevant.
I was also teased for being a prude. I was teased by the boys, I was even teased by my friends, but I didn’t care because my grandmother had already instilled in me a healthy dose of self respect. I knew that if I were to have sex at such a young age I would be facing a multitude of horrifying possibilities, pregnancy being the least!
The fear of pregnancy was there, but being a teenager, my fear of what my peers might be saying about me took center stage. For example, the first time I kissed a boy in the privacy of a supply closet at school; it was broadcasted to the entire student body by the closing bell. Had I gone “all the way”, the results would have been disastrous. I cared about what people thought of me. That is the definition of self respect.
A person can only be a virgin once. A person’s virginity is their own treasure to be given wisely. We are so quick to put extreme value on things; a baseball signed by a deceased athlete that we seal in a glass box never to be touched. We understand this, and are filled with pride that we possess such a wonderful token. Yet we are each born with a once in a lifetime gift that is ours to give, and we carelessly give it to the first person who claims to love us, or worse yet, we fail to realize that our virginity is even a gift at all! We allow our peers, prime-time TV, and even our own parents to cloud our judgment.
Holding onto ones virginity in today’s world is not easy. Uninvolved parents, TV shows desensitizing our children to good morals, peer pressure, as well as so many other factors ensure an uphill battle, but these road blocks do not mean defeat. Our teens deserve parents that care enough to say having sex when you are in your teens is unacceptable! A teenager is not mature enough to handle the responsibilities of having sex at such a young age. There is no need to mention the dozens of calamities that could occur; it is more constructive to mention what lies ahead for those who wait!
Waiting to have sex means concentrating on ones studies. Good grades lead to good college choices, a job of your choosing, and a better than average income. Abstaining from sex at least until one finishes college leads to vast opportunities that are out of reach for the teenager who has inherited a baby at fourteen.

Abstaining from sex is far from unrealistic; it is unequivocally the wisest decision a teen can make. It is a decision that exhibits maturity and intelligence at it’s finest. Teens who make such a decision realize that educating ones mind before educating ones sex life holds far greater rewards for ones future.
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This article has been read 980 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Lisa Johnson
07/23/09
Thank you.
Dee Yoder
07/25/09
Well said! So many teens are not being taught the value and gift to themselves that abstinence really is.
diana kay
07/26/09
An important subject and powerfully written.I found myself irritated at the first part because it felt like you were making presumptions about what your readers opinions and cutural norms were. I dont come from a culture like this and although teenage sex is widespread it is still illeagal. I know rthat there are countires where things are differnt. Perhaps you needed to groung it in the culture and perspective you were writing from. Thanks for tackling this important subject.
Gregory Kane
07/26/09
Talking of culture, I live in a country where young people can have 'traditional marriages' pretty much as soon as they hit puberty. Hence we have young women in our village churches who are only fifteen but already married, with one child on the breast and another on the way. Even in the towns and cities, if it's a choice between sending a boy or a girl to secondary school, the boy normally wins. So what's a girl to do? The answer for many is try and find herself a good husband.
So, yes, I guess that culture does affect the way we see all this. And of course in the West most fifteen-year-olds aren't thinking about marriage!
Brenda Buikema
07/27/09
Good writing on a tough subject!
Norma-Anne Hough
07/29/09
Good writing and advice. If only teenagers would realize, they do not have to give in to peer pressure.