The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/28/09
Great title--really made me want to read this story!

It's got some superb elements, but I found myself quite confused. I felt as if I were thrust into the middle of a story, and I really needed to know more about what was going on.

This has great promise...expand it, explain it, add paragraphing and dialogue...you'll have something special, prehaps for the YA market.
06/01/09
Your intriguing title captured my attention!

Your story is very interesting and seems to be about nightmares, because those often don't make any sense during or after having them. I like the dragon's name, too--Parsifal!