The Official Writing Challenge
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08/21/08
Good job, good characters. Too bad it's a story we see repeated over and over, in far too many of our families.
08/22/08
Great title (with a nod to Shakespeare), and a very good application of the topic of the week.

I didn't understand why Liz decided to keep her distance, just when her mother needed her support the most.

Glad to read the ending, and to feel the hope at the conclusion of your story.
Sad scenario. I'm glad the MC's daughter spoke up, but was unsure why she didn't go to her mom then, rather than waiting until Sunday - ? Glad you wrote hope and peace at the end. :)
Cutting your story down didn't seem to loose any of the meaning; the plot is intact. It does seem like you might be trying to get too much story in, though. Good job with Sam's character, and I like the ending.
08/26/08
This is a great story! It's too bad you had to limit it to 750 words....for the challenge it does work better to stick to one scene rather than 2 or 3....that way you can spend more time on that particular aspect of the piece. I'd like to see it as a short story with all 1300 words. :)
08/26/08
You did great showing the charade and using dialog. The daughter pulling away distracted me, but I was glad to see she spoke truth to her and that change began. A nit-pick (since you asked *grin*): 'sobbed' is a strong verb that seems over used. Replacing it when you're tight on words is hard, just something to keep in mind. (Also, that's just my opinion--others might like sobbed and think it's great. *smile*)
Your characters are believable. Good work with dialog. Nicely done.
Great reminder that so many are dealing with problems that others aren't always aware of. I like the straight forward writing style.
Your title is perfect for this piece. I liked the fact that the mc did come to the realization of her need and had hope. I felt, along with others, that the daughter should have spoken to her personally. You did a good job of showing the mc's facade.
Alchoholism. What a perfect choice for the topic! It is quite interesting that the abuser of the drink seldom recognizes that their breath is testament to their "secret." As with the plethora of possible sins that exist, the stranglehold is incredibly difficult to sever.
08/28/08
Hmmm, I thought the story flowed quite well. :) You kept me engaged throughout. Good job.
08/28/08
Very well written piece with vivid imagery of the progressing stages of the different scenes. You have succesfully captured the readers' attention in engaging them in the circumstances of Sam's need for God in her role as mayor and mother. The 'familiar peace' is a good ending for the story in showing the beginning of a new chapter for Sam.
I've already left a comment, but I just saw your note on your brick, and wanted to say that to me, it was obvious why the daughter pulled away, even without you spelling out the details. Blessings, Cat