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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Family Pet (05/15/08)
Balefully I gazed at the ball of fur, fluff and fuzz placed before my cynical teenager eyes.

“Isn’t he cute,” my mother pursued.

I muttered. “Cute isn’t defined with my vocabulary.”

“Well apparently sarcastic and sassy do,” my mother threatened. “Grounded defines my vocabulary just fine, too.”

According to my mom, the teenage analyzer I’d finally reached the pinnacle of my teenager years of rebellion and revolution. She described me as being too temperamental, turbulent and trying. She said it was like reliving my terrible-twos all over again only this time it included a mouth and too much mouth at that.

Her eyes gazed at me begging, pleading for me to cooperate. “Yeah, he’s cute. Does that satisfy your mothership monitor?”

She thought maybe if I had a furry companion maybe my attitude would improve or perhaps maybe I’d have a reason to stay at home more often. Lately I wasted most afternoons’ lounging on someone’s sofa staring into space or daydreaming about the day I left home. Unfortunately that was still a little more than two years away.

Silently, as I stared at the brown and white ball of fur that somehow managed its way into my arms was really kind of cute. Forbid myself if my mother ever heard admit that.

I gazed down at my new small friendly companion. He fur was distinguished with patches of burnt brown and white. His beautiful, beady black eyes barely peered opened as he gawked around at around at all the commotion. Both of his small eyes were encircled with one brown and one white spot.

“Was he the runt of the litter,” I wondered to no one in particular.

“Aye, he was. Poor guy,” the Pet Store owner replied. “He couldn’t keep up the rest of his clan. They’ve all found home but alas he’s the last to go. At least I hope he’s found a home with you kind folks.”

My mom glanced at me for final approval. I nodded a slow yes. Maybe this little guy and I had more in common than we think. Perhaps this was truly was meant to be love at first sight or perhaps it was meant to be a match made in heaven.

“Now, he’s you’re responsibility,” my mother warned. “You do realize what that means?”

I nodded, “Pooper Scooper, Kibbles n’ Bits and lots of love.”

“Well I suppose that works,” my mother smiled.

Puppy Poetry

In the early morning
Together we will rise
We gaze towards the heavens
And the bluest of the skies
We walk within the meadows
Blessed because He’s given us another day
To live and to live
For catching balls and for puckered licks
And for another round of puppy play
We’re more alike that most will think
Two hearts who love and two sets of eyes that cry
We’ve coward in the world too long
Now to choose to wave our paws
Onward and forward
We’ve got a great, big world to explore
Since we’ve found each other
We found a greater purpose than before
Chasing cars, eating from a bowl
Licks and love
Peeing on my favorite pair of pants
You’re still a little ruff
But you’re the best give from above


He has made everything beautiful in its time. - Ecclesiastes 3:11
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This article has been read 878 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Carol Sprock
05/22/08
I loved the opening word: Balefully--perfect choice to portray the setting/scene. The flow of your writing was marred in several places from missing words or an extra word. I'd recommend reading your piece aloud exactly as written (better yet, have someone read it to you) to find those spots. You make excellent use of alliteration, such as "temperamental, turbulent and trying." Although I was a little unclear when/how the shift to accepting the pet was made in your mind, you definitely portrayed the teen spirit. I liked the phrase "it included a mouth and too much mouth at that."
Patty Wysong
05/25/08
I liked the voice you started with--you could do a lot with it--and the mother's voice was right on, too. The missing punctuation made for a rough read, but that's fixable. Good job with the voices, it's a great starting point.
Phyllis Inniss 
05/26/08
You made interesting use of alliteration but I do agree with the above reviewers. The teenage spirit of rebellion came across very well.
Marilyn Schnepp 
05/27/08
Very sweet story, and I liked the poetic viewpoint; however, some editing would help a bit with the sentence structure, etc. But all in all it was an enjoyable read, and entertaining. I liked the little ball of fur, too.