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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "A Man is Known by the Company He Keeps" (without using the actual phrase). (01/31/08)
Sirens blasted through the silent night, red and blue flashes bounced of the surrounding trees, lending them a ghostly appearance. The sound of screaming cut through the air as Sara was pulled from the wreaked car; blood covered her hands. Bill, Bill she screamed he is still in there. “Oh honey” a police officer said,
“He is dead, I am so sorry”
She knew he was dead it was his blood on her hands, why, how, could things have gone so wrong?
Sara slipped back a couple months ago when she first met Bill. He was different then most of the boy’s she knew, and that is what really attracted her. She had been raised in Church and both parents loved God with all their hearts. But as Sara got older she thought the youth group was lame, and that always having to think about God and His way’s was just plain dumb. She just wanted to have fun, and Bill gave her that fun. At first it was just a walk or dinner were there were groups of people, soon it was late nights in a hotel, giving away what was most precious. Soon she stopped going to church, and she was often seen at bars or in seedy hotels, or at the latest greatest party. It was not long before she noticed people starting to talk about her, and the things they said were never nice. The friends she hung out with were some of the worst.
Which had led up to tonight; Bill was drinking and driving, he had lost control, so now here she was with his blood on her hands and a pain deep in her soul. She had become her own worst enemy, simply because she chose to hang out with the wrong crowd.
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This article has been read 705 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
02/08/08
An all-too-often true story of the path many of our young people choose.

There are a number a small edits that you could do to improve this piece, errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation. It may help to have another person look it over before you submit.

Heartbreaking read; thank you for entering this thought-provoker.
Marilyn Schnepp 
02/09/08
An intriguing but sad story of life on the dark side. The paragraphing, quotations, punctuaton and spelling need some editing, but keep at it -Practice makes Perfect!
Patty Wysong
02/09/08
So sad. The friends that we choose are so important.
Julie Arduini
02/12/08
What a take away lesson I won't soon forget. This story has great potential, needs a little polish and you are well on your way.
c clemons
02/13/08
I'm not sure if you were painting your main character as good girl gone bad or not. The story reads like the MC had all these things in her from the beginning. In other words who influenced who? Polish this up and expound a little on the MC making it clearer who she was before the fateful day. Keep practicing and you will get better.