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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Church (12/06/07)
I started out so long ago, with logs hewn out by hand.
Clay was gently packed between, with love by Godly men.
People gathered within my walls on God’s appointed day.
In one mind and accord they worshiped, sang, and praised.

Decades passed, my walls grew weak and needed much repair.
I was given brand new life by workers paid a fare.
People gathered within my walls on God’s appointed day.
Several minds and much discord they gossiped, sang, and played.

Repairs complete, my walls pristine and furnished with pricey decor.
Members argue over color and style, several go out the doors.
Still some gather within my walls on God’s appointed day.
The majority now has one accord, but God has been betrayed.

Alas my life in this sad time, no longer like early days.
God does not linger here, the people have turned away.
Their ears are tickled by a man, who only wants their praise.
His salary is his main concern, and of course, the yearly raise.

But I yearn for the days of old, when men and women bowed.
When the Spirit of my God was welcomed and allowed.
They gathered all together here, on God’s appointed day.
In one mind and one accord they worshipped, sang, and praised.

No more this whited sepulcher only filled with dead men’s bones.
I want the Spirit once more alive, and God back on the throne.
I want fellowship true and sweet, with His Spirit filling my beams.
I just want to be a church, where God can reign supreme.
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This article has been read 1471 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
12/14/07
I love the repetition. You paint vivid word pictures. Enjoyed this very much.
Jan Ross
12/16/07
Oh yes, this is my prayer as well ... bring back the true church where God is truly worshipped and praised! Very good use of descriptive words; the meter wasn't as tight as it could have been, but it flowed fairly well. With some tweeking, a rewrite would make a good poem into an excellent one. Good job! Christmas blessings! :)
Betty Castleberry
12/17/07
The imagery in this piece is wonderful. I can tell real feeling was put into this. Good job.
Jan Ackerson
12/17/07
Sad commentary on the state of this one particular church! Well-written poem, maybe just a few tweaks in meter might be needed.

I really like the last stanza.
JoAnne Potter
12/18/07
Agree with all prior comments, and give you a high five for this good poem. Vivid thought progression, sad comment without didacticism. Good...with polish, very good.
Catrina Bradley
12/19/07
Lovely sentiments, beautiful poetry. The meter is a bit off in places, but I enjoyed this very very much. Love the MC being the church building itself. Creative!
Loren T. Lowery
12/19/07
Yes, indeed for simpler, more authentic days. You have done a wonderful job of showing the anguish that can be found within a church of God where carnal man dukes it out with God's spiritual purpose.
Sara Harricharan
12/19/07
wow. This is very thought-provoking. The third verse really hits close. great job.
Paula Titus 
12/19/07
The last stanza is brilliant! Wonderful poetry :)
Debbie Wistrom
12/20/07
Congrats, very well thought out!
Ann Renae Hair
12/20/07
Oh, how sad! I hope this is not based on personal experience :( You expressed yourself well and made us feel it. Congratulations on 3rd place!
Loren T. Lowery
12/20/07
Had a feeling this was going to be a winner. Congratulations and do you move up a level now? Loren
Laury Hubrich 
12/21/07
Naye, didn't realize this was you! Congratulations! You're moving on up now! Welcome to level 3!!!!
Laury
Sheri Gordon
12/21/07
Congratulations on your 3rd place. Very good poem -- nice job with the topic.
Dee Yoder
12/21/07
Beautiful poem, Naye, with such a bittersweet message. I love the descriptions of the early church especially; very sentimental and sweet. Congratulations!
Therese Witkus
12/22/07
Lovely imagery and you told the whole story in six stanzas. The commentary is sad and yet, we need to hear in order to improve. Congratulations on your 3rd place!
c clemons
12/30/07
I'm confused, when did the "church" become the building? If the building had a "spirit" residing in it I would hope it was not the "Holy Spirit", which should be residing in each of us, "the church."