The Official Writing Challenge
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10/25/07
Much wisdom in few words - thanks for the thoughts. Love your last paragraph especially. Keep writing.
10/25/07
The writing in your first paragaraph is particularly lovely. I wanted to read more, much more of this.
"It's not possible." I needed to hear that today, feeling a bit self-critical. Thanks for the smile.
10/27/07
You opened the story well with vivid detail. Would like to see more detail throughout. Consider expanding this.
10/27/07
Your description, particularly in that first paragraph is great. I love that secret room painted Pepto-Bismal pink.

I felt another message in the middle, a subtle but one that needs us to think about it a lot.

Your ending had yet another message. When it's all said and done, when all the fanfare is over, it IS all about Jesus.

There is a lot of good stuff in this short piece. Well done.
10/30/07
I understand why you made this short. You are describing a large number of people, especially young children, who go through the tradition of baptism in a ritual sense--only to understand its meaning later. By keeping it brief, you have effectively communicated what baptism is to many. A blip that goes by.

I wonder if this is why so many people get baptized a second time after they understand the beauty and significance of it?

Well done.
10/31/07
I am glad all the previous reviewers understood what you were trying to say. I am sorry to say I am confused. Especially with the last sentence that you know you cannot be like Jesus. I got the sense that you didn't understand baptism the first time you did it and nothing had changed with the second. It would seem from the MC's point of view that relationship is so private it doesn't matter that those around you are the real "church" or not.