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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Sad (07/26/07)
Thunder Stones

Be it not for the memories of past brightness,
I could see not my way to forge on.
When milestones fall much too swiftly
The dodging becomes me not.

Bruised this body aches alone.
No bowed head have I, for times do not
Permit such sorrows.

I search the remnants of long ago days,
When adversity‘s dent left no
Staining marks.

Strong in will and dream
The wrinkles were not the cumbersome
Load to bear as in this night.

I have turned the stones belly up
Light to dusk.
But there would be no answers to find and
The effort has stalled within my spirit.
For I have grown weary.

I now will be the last to find substance within a
Tired saddened gaze.
For they can wait no longer for the hopes of past
Youth to just. . .be.

The grip upon the steel rod of fervor
Hoisted me far above the pits of melted nevers.
I fear the zeal once so prevalent, once fortified
Has left the calluses of failure thick.
This hand I had grown proud of,
Can no longer feel the smoothness of its ridged might.

Feel not for this labored soul.
Not all things can come to pass.
Perhaps my comfort, be it only one
Will live another day, another time.

My window frames the stones rain.
For all it is worth. . For all that I am,
The cracked glass will never steal my. .

Visions.
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This article has been read 855 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Janice Cartwright
08/02/07
"Past brightness" is often the way God makes a way when it seems there is no way.
Trevas Walker
08/02/07
I enjoyed the way you worded most of your poem, very descriptive. It fits the topic well. Great Job
Marty Wellington
08/04/07
Very interesting take on the subject. Terrific imagery. Loved it.
David Butler
08/08/07
This is an abstract or surreal word-painting, using rich coloured imagery. It's like a muddled dream of a world-weary troubadour, after a hard day's journey.
Not much to get a handle on (though maybe it's not meant to) but a thread of weary sadness does come through.
Interesting, although I'd keep the style of language a bit more consistent.
Joanne Durrett
08/09/07
this was an awesome entry and i am very surprised it did not place. this type of poetry may be beyond this forum...
Congrats! you won with me!