The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/14/06
I loved this story--the opening line, the dialogue, and the vivid descriptions made both the setting and characters come alive for me.

I could just hear the little girl talking--she sounded like a real little kid, especially with her use of "gots." I could see her, too! My favorite descriptive line: "Blond ringlets spilled out from under an enormous camouflage hat."

Powerful, moving message!
12/18/06
What a sweet story. I could see this little miss clearly. What an enjoyable experience it must have been to meet her. Well done.
12/18/06
A wonderful touching story. A message of Christ and Christmas comes to us in different ways. She seemed a little pest, but now you may indeed have a merry Christmas. Good writing and dialogue.
That was a sweet story. I loved the character of the little girl and her persistence. The ending was my favorite, especially when you tied it in with the title. Great writing, a heartfelt look at something a lot of us can relate to. Thanks for sharing!
I liked the clerk's change of heart in this piece. The little girl was a believable character, too.
I know our troops are sacrificing a lot, but it made me stop and think what a truly huge sacrifice they make every day. Thank you for sharing this.
Very good! My favorite line: “Christmas stress,” had found a home in my heart and it had slammed the door when the “Christmas spirit” tried to come and call. I've SO been there.

I didn't see a think to critique - sorry - only good comments from me. :) Loved it from beginning to end. Well done, Kaylee!!
12/20/06
Great job on the young girl's rambling comments. Could actually see the little critter chassing the store clerk. Well done.
What a charming story! It may have been a little more realistic to have the clerk's attitude change more gradually, but this was a great story!
12/21/06
I love the title and I could just picture her skipping after the clerk commenting on how fast she walked. too cute. I agree with the sudden change of heart, but loved the reminder of those serving overseas. Good work!
12/24/06
I think this story clearly illustrates how God can use the least and most unlikely to present a powerful message. I'm sure your country's soldiers would be honored by this story. Thank you.