The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/27/06
A great story, all the better because it is true. To add a litle more punch to your writing, I'd suggest you work on the 'show not tell' idea. You told me about the planned attack, but I didn't feel it with him. Was he scared? What little things did he notice along the way? And so on. I think this would serve to lift your story into the extraordinary.