Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: River (08/31/06)
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TITLE: The flow of my life | Previous Challenge Entry
By christine njihia
09/06/06 -
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A river flows and it symbolizes life. It empties its contents and is refilled along the way. It comes across dirty, still, clear water but the spectacular thing is that it never stops flowing. Life is similar to a river as you come across a lot but you have to keep on moving.
I was brought up in a Christian home where all I saw was love. I was taught to be kind, to forgive and be the best person that I could ever be. What I was never taught however is that the world is a hard place. People won’t always like you, some will never appreciate you and that I could never please everybody.
As I grew up and began to leave my nest, I did not know how to respond to the hate, malice, insecurity that I encountered, as they were unfamiliar to me. Where I came from, people did not do such things.
I left home, went to boarding school where I was alone and I had to be my own bodyguard and survive against all odds. Since I am not a loud person, when people hurt me, I simply just kept it in my heart and hid it somewhere in my subconscious mind. What I did not know was that, it was a terrible way of dealing with issues. This bred fear and insecurity in me. I never trusted anyone and lost faith in myself too.
In college, I got into a relationship where my boyfriend cheated on me with my friend and she fell pregnant twice, even after I forgave him the first time. This was devastating since we were all active in church and many young people looked up to us as their leaders. It was worse, because they went behind my back and incited my pastor against me, saying that I was out to break their relationship. I had to leave the church.
Over the years, I grew angry, hurt and afraid. It was hard for me to trust anyone including God. I pushed everyone away and believed that love was for others but not me. It was a lie of Satan but God in his mercies reached out to me. He did not only heal my heart but he healed my spirit too, so he could restore me to himself. It was good to have God back in my life. He became my anchor, best friend and the greatest part of me.
It was only then, that I was able to forgive all those who had wronged me. I am a happy person now, I love people and God has put a smile on my lips that comes right from my spirit. God is teaching me so much more and I am more than willing to be taught. I could never make it in life without him. I am alive and well because he loved me. He has taught me not to take offence and that there is no wrong that cannot be forgiven.
I have learnt to do my best and be proud of it, even if it is not the best according to other people’s standards. I appreciate myself and thank God every day for me. To know that no matter what happens, he will never walk away. Just like a little kid, I do not always understand or even know what is best for me. The one thing I know however is that he foreknows everything that happens and that his gentle hands will never drop me to the ground.
Just like a river, I am still flowing with God as my bedrock, till the day I see Him, The One who loves me, face to face.
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