The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
I love your first paragraph. I think it was well written and entices the reader to go further and see what is going to be revealed.
The rest of the story seems a little disjointed - you go from girls that are confiding in each other to being cruel - and then going to a frog jumping contest.
You had a great start - it would be interesting to read with a different thread of a story....
08/22/06
Interesting take on the them. I enjoyed the dialogue between the two girls...a bit of reminiscing from those teenager days. I'd like to have know more about why the contest was so important.
08/23/06
A wonderful look at how jr. high girls act. Very realistic.

It was a bit confusing, though.
08/24/06
I LOVE the narrator's voice in this! I agree it felt a bit disjointed, but the dialogue is very realistic and, like I said before, the narrator's "characterization" is wonderful!