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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Work (07/27/06)
I start to wonder about my work,
When will it come to an end,
I fold clothes and do other chores,
Does my family appreciate anything I do,
Will I ever make it through.

Being the virtuous woman that I am,
I do things the best I can,
I spend time away with my Father,
I pray daily Lord help me to be,
The wife and mother you have me to be,

From time to time I shed some tears,
I start to wonder if I have been appreciated,
all these long years,
As I sit and turn a page,
I see in the mirror how I have some what aged,

My daily chores are all the same,
A stay at home mom,
What do I have to gain,
So I pick up the word of God,
It's keeps my mind at a flow,
I just wonder what I would have done,
If I hadn't chosen this life before.

Time and time I want to pack my bags,
But the Lord tells me to hold out,
One of these days it will work out,
So I sit and I stare and think to myself,
What would I do without myself,
I pray for those who are in need,
And many times I don't mind taking the lead,

I wonder if I get in the way,
So I bow my head and start to pray,
Father help me to make it through the day,
I can't do it without you is what I pray,
So now I smile when I feel unappreciated,
It will some day pay off,
All the chores I thought I hated,
Thank God I was created,

Somebody loves me this I know,
The Holy Bible told me so.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Marilyn Schnepp 
08/05/06
Your Title tells it all - and it is so true! However, when it comes to rhythm, meter and rhyme...this delightful "free verse" doesn't flow smoothly...but that's only one reader's opinion; I liked the content - just not the smoothness. But nice job on the topic of WORK.
Kaylee Blake 
08/07/06
I liked most of this, but I also agree with Marylin that the rythm and rhyme and beat need some work. I think it's a diamond in the rough. It has great potential!
Jan Ross
08/09/06
I love the theme of your piece and how it reflects a busy life. It was a little difficult to read -- the flow was awkward. But, I think if you continued to work on tightening up the meter, this could be an excellent piece! I want to encourage you -- don't be discouraged because this has great potential. I'd love to see what you come up with after a little tweaking! :) God bless you as you continue to refine the gifts that God has obviously put in you!