The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Your Title tells it all - and it is so true! However, when it comes to rhythm, meter and rhyme...this delightful "free verse" doesn't flow smoothly...but that's only one reader's opinion; I liked the content - just not the smoothness. But nice job on the topic of WORK.
I liked most of this, but I also agree with Marylin that the rythm and rhyme and beat need some work. I think it's a diamond in the rough. It has great potential!
I love the theme of your piece and how it reflects a busy life. It was a little difficult to read -- the flow was awkward. But, I think if you continued to work on tightening up the meter, this could be an excellent piece! I want to encourage you -- don't be discouraged because this has great potential. I'd love to see what you come up with after a little tweaking! :) God bless you as you continue to refine the gifts that God has obviously put in you!