The Value of Life | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The Value of Life | Previous Challenge Entry
By Sarah Lewry
06/18/06
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The last eight months of my life have been extremely hectic. They have also been a time in which I have learned some of the greatest lessons I might ever learned. Of all these lessons, the most important I have learned is the value of life.
One year ago, I was an ordinary nineteen year old. I had just graduated from high school the year before, and like most female nineteen year olds, I enjoyed hobbies such as shopping and spending time with my friends. I was a fairly happy and content young woman. I had a satisfying job that paid well. I thought for sure that it was going to be one of the best years in my life.
Then eight months ago, everything changed overnight. I suddenly became so physically tired that dragging myself out of bed seemed to be impossible. I had a few black-outs, and would often feel faint and dizzy. I had just begun college classes, and was doing really well at my job, so I became very angry at God. I went to the doctor’s office twice to find out if something was wrong. They didn’t find anything. This aggravated me even more.
Around Christmastime last year, I became depressed about my life. In many ways, I felt as if I was getting closer to God, but he often felt distant as well. My sleep habits didn’t improve, and I often became cranky around my family and friends. I was very difficult to be around. Finally, on Christmas night, I told my mother about some of the hurtful things that had happened in my past. After hearing about these things, my family and friends decided that I was clinically depressed and that I needed counseling.
I began counseling, and started to take anti-depressants. These things seemed to help me somewhat, but I still had many problems. I eventually lost my job because I was unable to focus on my work. My friends became tired of me because I was too focused on the negative parts of my life. My own family could not stand being around me too much. Everyone would tell me to think positively, and that I was suffering because I did not trust God enough. For this reason, I became distant from my friends and family again.
By this May, I was feeling a lot less depressed about my life, but it was still evident that something was wrong. I began to have more dizzy spells, and black-outs. Eventually, I decided to go to a physician and make sure that something was not physically wrong with me. I had several different tests done, but the doctors did not find anything they were concerned about.
I’m still feeling sickly. I am constantly sleeping, and it still seems as if nothing is going right in my life. There are days when trusting God seems to use up all of my energy. I still become cranky and distant at times. Sometimes it feels as if having faith isn’t worth the effort. I still don’t know what is causing the black-outs and dizzy spells. I am constantly praying that God will heal me from my sickness. I am often afraid that something could be seriously wrong with me.
Through the trials I have been experiencing over the last eight months, I have learned many things about God that I did not see before. He has shown me many times that I am His, and that He loves me more than my mind could ever imagine. I believe that Jesus cares about everyone in that same way. I don’t know why God would allow me to become sick. That is something that I might never understand. I’ve found that the only thing I can do is to lean on God. God has shown me that every day is a sacred gift from Him. Life is fragile, and there are certainly no guarantees that nothing bad will happen to me. I sometimes feel like giving up. The only way I can change this way of thinking is by remembering all of the things God did and has done for me lately. God gave His one and only son to die for me, so that I might one day go to heaven. And He didn’t stop there. He promised that whenever I am struggling, He would be here with me. Thank you, Lord, for giving me this life. Thank you for being faithful. In Jesus name, Amen.

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