The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/20/06
Overall, good writing, as it is, but you could make it more appealing with a story to illustrate your message. God bless your work.
05/22/06
I agree - without an illustration, a devotional tends to be quite dry. Everyone's pulse quickens to a good story. Good message.
05/23/06
I agree with the 2 previous commenters. One way to work in an illustration is to write in the 1st or 3rd person rather than 2nd person--what happened to YOU to learn this lesson, or to someone you know? And avoid definitions, synonyms, etc. as an introduction. Your considerable writing skills are ready to be stretched beyond this format! I look forward to reading your next entry.