The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
WOW! Awesome story. It brought tears to my eyes.
Nicely done. I like the transistion to first person at the end. It gives the story a true feeling and gives the reader more satisfaction in my opinion.

One critique, the beginning paragraphs seemed a bit confusing to me. They didn't flow as well as later in the story.
05/02/06
I was confused at the beginning and had to read it several times, but the ending cleared up who the people were. Realistic (is it true?) and held my attention.