Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Space (01/23/06)
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TITLE: Could I Get a Little Space? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Sarah Soule
01/26/06 -
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Funny thing about God, though, He seems to do His own thing. I guess He didn’t get the memo that I wouldn’t be needing Him until after lunch, because here He is, sitting at my desk while I surf the Internet for new shoes instead of finishing my assignment.
I’ve got to finish work. Oh, yes, and run to the store to pick up the stuff for dinner. Don’t forget to drop those things off at the library. I’ve got a million things to do, no time to think, just time to cross items off my list.
But now it’s getting dark inside my soul. My friend just called, her baby may have irreparable brain damage. I am sad. I am scared. I need Him now. I really can’t do this alone. I really can’t do this at all. I call out into the shadowy places of my heart and hear the echo.
“Hello . . .”
“Hello . . .”
“Hello . . .”
I hear Him, but it’s faint. He’s answering me, but from where I’m not too sure. I call again.
“Lord, are you there?”
I push down the pulsing waves of anxious thoughts and try to listen. I’m hearing voices from all the things I’ve been putting in my mind. Answers from my flesh, answers from well-meaning friends, I swear I just heard Oprah in there. I’ve got to eliminate all this other noise so I can hear Him.
“Lord, um, I’m sorry about all the other noise. All the distractions. I know I’ve relegated you to the laundry closet of my heart. I know you own my whole heart, but that you aren’t always going to push your way around. You’ve pursued my, called me by name, even shaken me a little to get my attention, but you want me to want you. You are waiting for me to call for you and fix my gaze on you and acknowledge your presence. I know you will never leave me or forsake me, but that you are waiting for me to seek you with my whole heart. I know you are here, somewhere.”
Finally, spent, I sit. I wait.
Then I hear Him. He tells me that all is forgiven, and was forgiven before I even asked. He says He knows about my friend and that both she and the baby are both firmly held in His loving grasp. He tells me that life may not always be painless, in fact, that there will be times where the sorrow outweighs the joy. But He reminds me that He is always where I need Him to be, which is right here.
So I grab on to the only One I know can hold me, and I tell Him I don’t need any space.
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