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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: RELATIVES (02/15/18)
For most of us, we carry a lot of bitterness in our hearts because we have been hurt by the people we called family. They were the closest people to us, they were all we had but they let us down. We had come to understand what family meant but we were not treated as such. Families put each other first, they love and care for one another, they feel as a sense of responsibility for each other and ultimately seek to make the other happy.



The people we call family, don’t abuse us physically, emotionally, or sexually. They don’t live selfishly for themselves ignoring our welfare. They don’t focus on their careers and leave us lonely and uncared for. They certainly should be able to control their yearnings for alcohol and drugs when they know they are responsible for us. They should know better to make choices whether in relation to a spouse, job, home etc. so our lives don’t get ruined up because of their bad decisions. They should know not to favour a sibling over another by providing extra attention. If nothing at all, they should know that family stay together, if they loved us they would have forgiven each other and not separated. And the list goes on.



We grew up wondering why they behaved in the way they did. Why were they not able to get their act together, we would ask? Why did they make so many mistakes? We are not the only ones asking these questions. After a while the people who hurt us struggle to answer those questions realising the damage they have caused. We may smile and look all pretty on the outside but deeply hurt. And if at a young age, we can’t wait to get away from the people we called family. They were not family after all. Before long we start blaming God for allowing all that happened to us. Why didn’t He give a better family like person A or B, we would compare? A few years down the lane we find that we are not only wounded but scared and our relationships, friendships and communication with God suffer alongside.



Yes, they didn't relate to us like relatives should but that doesn't mean we are not to relate to them as a family. Family loves one another unconditionally which mean relatives are patient, kind, forgiving, hopefully, etc. with one another unconditionally. Just like those who hurt us, we make mistakes and terrible choices which could have unthinkable circumstances. It’s inevitable as humans we are all bound to do something wrong, put ourselves first and most often hurt the people around us. And we come to realise this, as we grow up.



It was just unfortunate that we had to be present while the people we looked up to and depended on made the terrible mistakes. And it is unfortunate that we have carried on the impact of their mistakes and have become wounded. Now that we have come to understand what family means in the light of Christ’s love for us, we need to act differently. God has graciously chosen us and made us a part of His family. Even though we disobeyed Him and made a terrible mistake. We hurt Him and distorted His original plans, but He forgave us.



It's time to forgive others and become a reflection of Christ to those who hurt us the most. It won’t be easy, but Christ offers grace. What about the scares you ask? Well, if the wound still hurts the Lord will heal it. And its ok to have the scars, its to tell a story, one which could have a great ending if love is shown to the people who hurt you. Jesus still carries the scars from the nail pierced through His hands and feet for your sake. It’s time to let go. Relate as Christ would, to the people He chose in His wisdom to be your relatives. See them for who they are, which is family and behave as such. Being family hinges on how you relate to people. You can start by praying for them. Before you know it love will be blooming in your heart for them.
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This article has been read 474 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Dennis Gallemore
02/22/18
Good advice to live by!
Larry Whittington
02/26/18
All of our family members lived before God as they chose to live - some good, some bad. We have been affected by how they lived but now it is our chance and responsibility to live before God as we see he directs us.Part of this is to forgive others so bitterness does not grow in our heart.

Your article opens the way for each to see others in our family may have failed in their choices and their failures have affected our lives but we can remedy that situation by forgiving them and forging ahead as we see God's way opening up before us.

Thanks for taking the time to express the emotions in your heart.
Susan Montaperto
02/28/18
Thank you for your thorough discussion of family and forgiveness.

God Bless!