Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: OVERLOAD (10/06/16)
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TITLE: Our Wives Talk Too Much | Previous Challenge Entry
By Art Westefeld
10/13/16 -
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The men had planned to enter the house and enjoy some water quietly. Instead Elizabeth was telling Mary all about the difficulties of going into labor so late in life. She was saying to the younger woman, "You should have it much easier being so much younger." She then started to tell Mary about the challenges she had being pregnant, in graphic detail. Joseph worried briefly that Mary would never agree to "know" him if it meant repeating such experiences.
Zechariah took the younger man by the elbow and said in his rough voice, "Let's let the women talk about woman things. We can talk about man things, like how your carpentry business is doing, or what I am doing at the Temple."
Joseph did feel uncomfortable hearing the women talking about afterbirth and breastfeeding. He followed the older man out of his home. As they stepped out of the door of Joseph's home and workshop, Zechariah must have noticed the look on Joseph's face and chuckled. "I have heard my wife talking about her labor and delivery to the point I can quote her story. Half the women in this town must know about the delivery of our little miracle.
Joseph asked Zechariah, "Do all women talk about having their baby?"
Zechariah answered, "I can't say ALL women as I don't know them. I used to have to ask men to keep their wives quiet when we thought Elizabeth was barren."
Joseph thought about the other's pain and shook his head thoughtfully as they drank their water. Deciding to return to the intended topic of discussion he offered, “Well I did build a new sturdier chair for that fat Moneychanger that has his table just inside the gate of the Temple. I am not taking on any new work until we return from Bethlehem to pay our taxes.” He looked back at the door, but neither of the women had appeared. “I hope her time doesn’t come during our trip.”
The older man smiled at Joseph, “Now, you’ve known that this baby is from Yahweh? As I believe that is so after my wife’s miracle, then you have nothing to worry about. The LORD has a plan.” Joseph decided not to argue with the older Priest. He chose to return to a safer topic, their women. “Well, do you think my wife will have this need to inform everyone when she has our baby, on the particulars of labor and delivery? Seriously, don’t you think that Elizabeth is sharing too much with a young impressionable girl like my Mary?”
"Mary and Elizabeth have been talking about their pregnancies for months now. Do you think a good Israelite woman like Mary will admit she got pregnant prior to her wedding?"
Joseph considered his cousin-in-law and announced, “No you are right. Mary won’t want to give out too much information on her child’s conception.”
Zechariah laughed into his beard, as he responded to the younger man’s opinion. “My wife shares the details because Yahweh blessed her and I in our old age. And to something you said earlier, this will not be ’your’ baby. As I understand from Elizabeth, Mary was visited by the Holy Spirit and became with child after that visit, am I right?”
Joseph wished his wife was a bit more discreet, but Elizabeth was family and they had miracle pregnancies in common. He remembered the story Mary told him of when she had seen Elizabeth before John was born, and Elizabeth said her child jumped for joy being in the presence of the LORD. He saw how the baby, asleep when they came to visit, had awakened when Mary entered the room.
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The beginning was a tad slow for my taste, but once you added dialog, it picked up. My one red ink would be this line: “Yahweh blessed her and I in our old age.
Should be: Yaweh blessed her and me. (You wouldn't say Yaweh blessed I, so that's a good trick to figure out the correct word.)
I enjoyed your ending too. You made me chuckle quite a bit. Women do have a way of describing things. You did a nice job retelling this story from a fresh POV. I enjoyed it. God bless.
This would be a nice addition if everything was told about the life of Jesus.
You have written a nice "could have been" part of Mary's story.
Nice thoughts and nice writing.