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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: TRAVELER (01/28/16)
All Aboard?
To whom can I speak and give warning? Who will listen to me? Their ears are closed so they cannot hear. The word of the LORD is offensive to them; they find no pleasure in it. Jeremiah 6:10

It's a bumpy ride. You can sit or stand and it will still get you there. I often chose to look out the window even though it was dark and I could see very little. Periodically a light would shine and I would get a glimpse of my location.
I was a fourteen year old girl riding the NYC subways. I would have to get up early to ride the IRT line of the subway to reach my destination. While some students could role out of bed and walk to their High School, I had to take the train to get to the Brooklyn Bridge stop in Manhattan. Just thinking about the trains reminds me of the subway scent. If you grew up in the city you know what I mean.

I remember I would station myself in the front car of the train where the conductor was. Living in the South Bronx for me meant extra caution. I figured if I was closer to the authority on this train--I would be safer.

As I engaged my eyes and looked out the glass front door of this moving train I could see the tracks. I sometimes could predict the next stop based on the old shut down stations that we would pass by. I remember the ride like it was yesterday. As the train traveled it seemed to me it was always going straight. Then without much warning green lights turned red. This conductor would gently re-route this 8-11 car train. Well actually, sometimes the turn would remind me that those silver handles were meant to hold on. Where is he going?

The tunnel is dark; a few sparkles of white lights could be visible from time to time. The traffic signals in this tunnel changed, causing the conductor to strategically go in different directions until he got me to my destination.

What if life is like this? What if there is a Conductor steering my life? What if in the darkness there is a glimmer of hope? What if I am convinced that the road I am on is truly correct and then a red light appears; a "do not enter" sign that warns me to stop and re-evaluate my route? Will I run through the red light and not heed caution?

The Bible tells us many stories of God warning his people but they did not listen. He knew the way to the Promise Land!
Will I miss the shift that indicates go this way or the red light that yells change course?

God is always trying to get our attention to keep us on track.. Often he will bring up the bright red light to indicate STOP but we keep going; warnings because we are in sin--not obeying his directive. Warnings because he knows best.

In his love, he will exile us; have us wander in the desert, a place that is dry, where fruit can not grow. He'll send us to Egypt and allow us to go back to our own devices; he'll send a whale to get our attention and ultimately he'll send his Son to the cross!

Imagine if I knocked on the conductor's door and said, "hey, you are going the wrong way". That would be ridiculous, after all he has been given the task to bring me to the Brooklyn Bridge safely. He knows the way!

There is One who leads and is THE ONLY WAY!

Sometimes I find myself waiting on life's platform not sure which way to go. There is One who loves me, his name is Jesus and will stop at nothing to get me to my destination. Even in my failures he still finds a way to put me back on track.

I decided long ago to hang up my "conductor's hat" and allow the Great Conductor to steer my life. He knows where I need to go and how to get me there. The dangers of this world and the evil that lure me have been intercepted! The tracks have shifted and my life re-routed.

This straight and narrow road has been designed for me. I traded up for the One who knows where I need to go. All aboard?

Everyone gets an opportunity to ride with this Conductor--don't miss yours!
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Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
02/05/16
Iloved this well written entry. Being born and raised in New York, I traveled those trains working in Manhattan for a good portion of my life. It brought back memories of my younger days, I always preferred the first car as well!

Great job and excellent story.

God bless~
Pat Small
02/05/16
I think you need to rethink the beginning. The bumpy ride and the next sentence left me perplexed, rather than piqueing my curiosity. Also a couple of punctuation errors. I still enjoyed the story.
Larry Whittington
02/08/16
I liked how you introduced your story with the subway ride. It fit into the meaning of your thoughts well.

Yes, He is the way.

Nicely written. This should be an encouragement to any thinking of "getting off the subway" before reaching our destination.

Keep writing as you are directed by the Holy Spirit.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
02/08/16
This is a lovely devotion. I've never been on the NY subways and only rode Chicago's elevated train/subway one weekend, and it terrified me. I'm a country girl at heart, yet I could still relate to your great message and even envision riding the trains (I think my heart rate went up, but that's because you put me right there with you.)

My red ink would involve your beginning and ending. Granted they are probably two of the most important yet difficult judging criteria. First remember to put quotation marks around Bible verses as they are direct quotes. Your opening line was a passive one. With a bit of rearranging and tightening, you could turn it into something like this:
Riding the NY subways when I was a fourteen-year-old girl taught me a valuable lesson. As I bumped about, I'd look out the window and shiver when I saw only darkness encompassing the train. Periodically, a light would shine, giving me a glimpse of my location. Even today, I can close my eyes, crinkle my nose, and remember the subway scents--a mixture of sweat, stale fast food, lingering cigarette smoke, and the metallic, sulphuric smell of the wheels rubbing against the tracks.
Okay, I took some liberties, especially with the smells. Since I've never been on the subway, I can only imagine the smells, but I bet you could describe them way better than that. I tried to do more showing by using body language and active sentences.

As for your ending, you don't need that last line. You already did a great job of stating your message so you don't need to repeat it. The reader will already be asking herself that question because of your great way of building the story without being preachy.

I really like devotions that start with real stories that the reader can relate to. You did a nice job of picking a good Bible verse to build your message on. I like your take on the topic too. If you haven't already submitted something to FW daily devotions, I'd urge you to do so. I think you have a gift for writing devotions. I thoroughly enjoyed this one.