The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/23/15
You obviously worked very hard on this entry. For me, though, the wordiness made it challenging to follow at times. I encourage you to check out Jan's Writing Basics on the Forum on Tight Writing. It helps to get points across succinctly.

Several times you have places where run on sentences appear. Clearing these up into separate sentences might make it easier to read.

For example, you wrote:
A teaspoon of butter in the kitchen has a multitude of uses, we use it to bake, cook and spread on our food, it enhances the flavors of the other ingredients and creates happiness for our taste buds.

How it can read easier:
A teaspoon of butter in the kitchen has a multitude of uses. We use it to bake, cook, and spread on our food. It enhances the flavors of the other ingredients, and creates happiness for our taste buds.

Lessons in Jan's Writing Basics are on comma usage also exist. I encourage you to check them out as well.

Best of wishes as you continue working on your writing craft.
10/23/15
You shared your views clearly and reminded us of some basic truths. Keep sharing your testimony
You have many good points throughout the piece. Good Bible thoughts.

You have some long sentences that could be made into two complete sentences.

You are right about the narrow pathway that we are to lead. The gate, through, refers to how we enter the path. In (Acts 2:36) Peter said that "God had made Him (Jesus) both Lord and Christ". In (Acts 2:41) it says that "those who had received his word were baptized and there were added that day about three thousand souls". These were the ones who went through the gate and started walking on the narrow way (Acts 2:42-47).

Continue to write using the Bible you know and trust.