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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write for the HUMOR Genre (10/09/14)
Hello, my name is not Paul, but you can call me Paul, as my mummy said not to tell strangers my name. See Mummy, I did not tell them my name. Mummy, who is Paul?

Now, where do I start? Well, I am a three year old boy called (not telling). I actually think I have different names. My parents call me one and sometimes my brother and sister use this one but other times they have called me others like Pipsqueak', and a few times, 'you little...'

Being a three year old is such a hard life. They say 'if you want to get technology to work, just ask a child.' I disagree: I think you just need enough batteries. Well, my problem is trying to have enough batteries to get my toys to work. Every time I get a toy just right, my older brother or sister steals my batteries. It is such a fight for control. Batteries are a major currency in my household. If I dropped to their level and took their Wii remote batteries, you would hear the screams around the block.

I'm sad, The little hand is at the 8 and it should be my Peppa Pig cartoons time. I'm grumpy, even told Mummy to go to the naughty step. I turned on the TV/DVD in my second bedroom, only to find mummy's exercise DVD in it. It would not stop! I like dancing but that was so scary. Even me crying did not get a response from my parents. If I did not know better, I would think they don't like Peppa Pig. How could anyone not want to watch three hours of the Pig family?

When I say 'my second bedroom', I do mean the one they keep tidy for me. I know they sleep in it and I join them when I am not well or have had a slight accident in the middle of the night. Actually, since it is mine, anytime I want.

Let me tell you a secret: at night, my parents will not let me have enough drinkies before bed. But I hide drinkies under my bed. A three year has toddler rights to have a drink whenever he wants; I know my rights and I exercise them. O yes! back to exercise. That DVD will never play again. For my birthday I got my own tool kit. That hammer's really good for bashing scary DVDs.

I'm grumpy! Not my fault! After dinner, my sister asked me to bake a cake in my toy kitchen. I did. My ears hurt. Yelled at the smoke alarm to shut up, like my big sister does. How was I to know that she didn't mean for me to put my cake in Mummy's oven in the kitchen? I was only being a big boy. Bad Mummy turned the oven on for dinner. All was going so well until a rather stinky smell came out of the kitchen, and I know I used the potty so wasn't me. Not fair, I got told off. Always getting told off. Humph.

It really is such a hard life being a three year old, even the dog is mean to me. I had used the potty, as mentioned earlier, and had the shame of Daddy wiping my bottom with toilet roll - I wanted wipies. When he went to dispose of it, Daddy got upset because he couldn't find it. He thought I had done a poo in a bad place again. I did not! I only did that once! It was in the outside drain; Mummy had told me poo went down the drain.

No, what had happened was the dog ate my poo. Nasty Doggy. Go to the naughty step!

Well, it's nearly bedtime. Time to brush my teeth. Actually, I will give the brush to the dog to lick, she needs it more than me after eating the poo.

Daddy, can I have Noah as my story? It's only been the fifth time this week we've read it.

Daddy used to hold my hand when we did prayers. But now I insist on putting my hands together, like in Sunday School.

Now for my pod-pod. At least it doesn't need batteries. It is so good to listen to music at night, but I wish Daddy would realise that Christmas music really should not be in my playlist in June.

Well, night night God. Now, where did I hide my drinkie?

Author's notes: a pod pod a 3 year old's word for an Ipod.
Also no actual DVDs were destroyed or maimed in the making of this story.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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This article has been read 773 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Toni Babcock 
10/17/14
Interesting point of view you are using here as a three year old speaking. It would be interesting to create one major conflict for your main character to resolve. What would that be for a three year old? And what lengths would he go to in finding a resolution?
Noel Mitaxa 
10/17/14
Warm and imaginative approach to the difficulty of getting inside a child's thinking patterns and letting the innocent fun show through. Good work.
Lindsey Ruby 
10/18/14
I have a 3-year-old too; you did a good job!
Rachel Barrett
10/18/14
Oh boy...that had me chuckling throughout. I liked how you went from one thought to another, like a child getting distracted and chasing a "shiny!!!"
C D Swanson 
10/18/14
This was fun and creative! I enjoyed this clever POV...I've never read a story from a three year old's perspective...well done.

GOd bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
10/23/14
I actually love this. The opening line made me laugh out loud, literally. It was a perfect draw in. I think the reason it may not have done better in the rankings is because the three-year-old-boy was a tad too sophisticated. He would use age-appropriate words in one line then in the next line he is almost philosophical about technology and batteries. While I find it hysterical, I think others may see it as not realistic enough. My heart aches for you because I get that that's the point. I've done similar stories with a bird and a wave (like in the ocean) as my MCs and people found it unrealistic.
Another example is the naivety of thinking the pod-pod doesn't need batteries yet the wisdom of not playing Christmas tunes in June. I personally like it a lot, but I tend to be quite weird and too far out of the box at times.You have amazing talent,. so don't get discouraged. For me, this was one of my favorites. Another thing that might not have been clear is who was your intended audience? A child, perhaps a preteen or an adult. I could see this playing out for anyone of that group with a bit of tweaking. I used to write a lot of kids stories and they didn't always do well because adults were reading them. So make sure you know who your audience is. Believe it or not, it's a mistake I find many people making. They write fro too broad of an audience. While you had some great lines and wonderful imagery, it was hard to define who your intended reader is, if that makes sense. Don't stop writing no matter what. Also try to read and comment on as many entries as possible. Once I started doing that, I was able to understand what worked or doesn't work and tweak my own stories from what I learned.