Fighting the Good Fight | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Fighting the Good Fight | Previous Challenge Entry
By Lilly Grace
10/09/14
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Fighting the Good Fight

My drug use started as an occasional use, to only on the weekends, to each and every day. I would lie, steal and cheat to get what I needed and not worry about anyone who got hurt in the process. I would wake up in the mornings with terrible headaches, but at night time use cocaine all over again.
One morning I woke up in my poorly painted yellow room with blue carpeting. It was always scary sleeping in that room, it was way too big. My imagination would run wild with all the scary things that could hide in the shadows. I had a horrible headache and thought my head was going to split wide open. I stumbled and then crawled into the shower to run water over my face. The bright bathroom was not helping, it had beaming white walls, speckled silver and white tile in the shower, white toilet and sink and the floor was glaring white with blue trim. One good thing about this all white bathroom; this is where I met Jesus! While in the shower, I lost my eye sight and was in complete darkness for thirty minutes. I was panicking, crying, running water in my eyes, opening my eye lids with my fingers and seeing NOTHING. Some people say “you’re not supposed to bargain with God”, but I did! Through my cries, I begged Him, not to do this, “Please don’t do this!” to give me my eye sight back and “I promise I will NEVER do drugs again!” I knelt on the shower floor and acknowledged God for who He is, our Magnificent King, my Father in Heaven and with that my eye sight returned!
You would think that I would shout from the rooftops that God had saved me, but I did not. If I acknowledged God completely in my everyday life, what did that mean? What would be required of me? “I can’t be a nun, too late for late!” I quipped. I came out of that situation dazed and confused and the enemy worked hard to keep me that way. Satan had me convinced that if I truly was a child of God, I would not have done all the bad things I did. He had me jumping from one hoop to the other, trying to find things or people that would fill the void and take the hurt away.
I cried out for God, I knew He loved me and had to be on my side, right? I was led by the Holy Spirit to have a good, long heart to heart with God and to be honest, like I had never been before.
My living room was warm and cozy from the sunlight coming through the window and the sweet smell of lilac filled the air from the bouquet sitting on the freshly cleaned glass coffee table. I hit my knees to the standard beige carpeting found in all apartments and invited Jesus into my life. It was an instantaneous transaction, He took all my sin and nailed it to the cross and gave me life in return. I cried and cried and cried and just sat with Jesus basking in the warm sunlight. This time when I left the room, I knew I was a child of God and He was definitely on my side!
Jesus took me from darkness into the light with His transforming love. The growing process had begun and I embraced it with all honesty. I remember saying to God, “I don’t know how to pray, will you teach me?” “I want a pure heart, with no selfish motives.” “Teach me to pray that will be pleasing to you.” God brought to my attention things that needed to be left in the past so I could grow and be the person He created me to be.
I kept my promise and never used cocaine again, that was 27 years ago. I thank God every day for saving me and adopting me into His family. Life is not perfect, but I have peace and freedom in Christ and I will keep fighting the good fight. “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

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