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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Husband and Wife (08/08/14)
The anger hidden behind their masquerade breakfast with friends was simmering just beneath the surface like old country oatmeal that was just too hot to deal with yet. The subject of moving had been batted around the walls of their living room the night before and Miranda still felt the sting of its absurdity. Zach should know how she feels about leaving the only home she has ever loved. The only home where the walls absorbed the sounds of his laughter and childish babble.
Focus Miranda! This couple has been called away and you may never see them again. Focus! This reminder put a temporary plug in the dam of tears just bursting at the seams.
Zach had watched his wife shut down over the last several months to the point of impending implosion and was frantic to find her some imminent relief. The loss wore on him too, but all he could think about was how could he fix this; how he could bring healing to the woman he had loved for years. Moving seemed like a viable option. Why couldn’t she see it?
In the midst of sadness that was played off as best friends saying goodbye, Zach was brought back to the present as the dining room chairs scraped against the newly stained wood floors. Hugs and tears all around the circle before the Fuller’s climbed back into their moving van. Waving them off as they drove down the oak shadowed street, gave them a momentary reprieve before the tension would expose itself once again. Both walked slowly up the stairs and into the house as recollections of their fight swarmed around them like fireflies caught in a mason jar longing to find a way of escape.
Zach reached for her hand just seconds before she darted off to the bedroom where she threw herself on the big poster bed that had become all too familiar with the salty touch of grief. He hung his head for a moment, attempted a short prayer for wisdom that he felt certain would never come and then headed into the battle zone that once was a sweet sanctuary embraced in love.
Memories of coming home to a hysterical teenager holding their dripping wet six month old baby boy drowned out her husband’s pleading to talk about last night. The guilt of leaving Jeffrey with a sitter grew like cancerous tentacles squeezing out any hope of finding peace. All she could do was plead with God for answers.
Pain had become the wall that separated their worlds and no amount of counseling seemed to help. Even time was of no use. Zach felt sure if he could take her away from the house memories she could begin to heal, but Miranda resisted at every turn.
With his eyes closed and tears flowing down his face, Zach whispered out a prayer, a desperate prayer for help. A prayer for the God he loved to touch his heart and the heart of his wife. He knew his own efforts would never help him find liberty from the agony that had taken his home captive.
Led by an inner prompting that made no sense to him at the time, Zach went and found his wedding video. He put it in the DVD player and turned on the television. The wedding march began playing and he could hear Miranda’s sobs begin to soften. He became mesmerized by what unfolded on the screen in front of him as they had not watched this since they got back from their honeymoon ten years ago. Before he knew it, Miranda flew off the bed and threw herself on his lap and wrapped her arms so tight around his neck he could barely catch his breath.
The words “in good times and in bad times” became arrows in their heart in a way they could not have anticipated when they decided to go with the old fashioned vows. Slowly Miranda loosened her grip and just stared into his eyes with the love that had been buried beneath the grief and guilt for far too long.
“I now pronounce you Husband and Wife”
Zach lifted her up and carried her back to the bed where they laid together for hours recanting the joys and sorrows they have experienced since hearing that simple sentence. Move or no move, they were in this together. They had made a vow and that would get them through whatever life threw their way.
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This article has been read 744 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Joe Moreland
08/15/14
I love the story you weave here. The characters are so authentic and the imagery you serve up is vivid and makes it possible for me to see your story unfold. I love the line about the simmering oatmeal.

I know you were bothered by how your formatting got screwed up from your original during submission, but don't sweat that, it happens to a lot of people the first time out and I think everyone understands that.

Thanks for sharing this with us.
Larry Whittington
08/15/14
This is an excellent devotional or teaching lesson.

The topic: Vows made to God should be kept at all cost.

Young and old need to remember their vows and consider before God what they mean.

Well written. Full of emotion.
Olawale Ogunsola
08/16/14
Fine! God has a solution for every problem if we allow Him to lead us and obey Him. This is a good work.
Jason Barnett
08/16/14
Great story....how often do we as married couples get to focused on the issue (big or small) and forget what matters most in the marriage. Its not who is right, or the correct thing to do, but the love that brought each you together in the first place.

Your use of imagery was amazing! Well done!
C D Swanson 
08/17/14
Wonderful story bubbling with emotions and an important message.

I really enjoyed this piece...thank you!

God bless~
Diane M. Bowman
08/17/14
Great story. Well written with very believable characters.
Rachel Barrett
08/17/14
Oh, that was beautiful. The emotions were raw and real.

I especially liked the part about the fireflies caught in the mason jar. Lovely imagery.
Bea Edwards 
08/18/14
You crafted a powerful story with believable characters and storyline.

One suggestion. I was told long ago that white space is an important aspect to create pause and ease on eyes.

If you look at some of the other entries you'll notice what I mean.
Noel Mitaxa 
08/19/14
You have encapsulated a range of emotions and descriptions so well that I'm sure that beginners will be a very short phase of your writing ministry. Great work.
Amelia Brown 
08/21/14
Such a sad piece that's raw with emotions, but very well written. I enjoyed the colorful descriptions and captivating writing style. Keep writing.
Danielle King 
08/21/14
A powerful piece with engaging emotions. It seems that the formatting didn't work for you, but it doesn't detract from your great storyline. Well done!
C D Swanson 
08/21/14
Congrats!

God bless~
Roy Proctor
08/13/16
Maybe I'm tired from doing my yard but I had trouble following your plot. Your story started out with Zach and Miranda coming to the painful solution toward moving.

But later we find that the Fullers moved. What is their connection with Miranda? It would help if this were established. Miranda being upset needs to be justified.

I do like your ending. It suggests that Miranda had forgotten that her relationships with Zach is more important than all others.