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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Bouncebackability (06/05/14)
Mzoli kicked pebbles on the side of the road as he walked and they splattered the grassy roadside or fell into an overgrown ditch. His toes peaked out the front of his shoes and the rubber sole was peeling gently from the worn canvas like a toothless smile. He shivered in the cold Cape Town winter, hunching his shoulders.
“Mzoli, Mzoli!”he heard his name. It was Lungi, he could see him trotting across the soccer field towards him. Excited, he arrived and jumped in front of Mzoli, his appearance similar to a crazy monkey. “Mzoli, Mzoli,” he sung in an affable sing song voice. “You make anything Mzoli?”
“Nothing. You?”
“Some bread. These two people in a red car, they go past me every morning and, I wave! This morning they called me, hey you, and give me this.” He started rummaging in his pockets. “I still have some. Want to share?” Lungi pulled out half a loaf of white bread from the pocket of his tattered extra large jacket. He was fortunate to have a jacket like that in the rainy season, Mzoli thought, – it meant he could go out in any weather to beg.

Lungi came home with something from someone most days, maybe it was that crazy smile. Mzoli watched his friend grin, his teeth were yellow and his lips cracked and dry. He stood there in front of Mzoli, holding out the bread and smiling. He was always happy, that Lungi.

People laughed and said he was a few short but Mzoli liked Lungi; he made him forget about things. Everyday when they would walk home together Lungi would come running up to him and wrap his arms around Mzoli’s shoulders before he would present him with his find for the day. He would watch tense with anticipation as Mzoli opened it up. Then, the moment it could be seen he would erupt into a circle of claps and respond, “want to share?” Lungi was a good friend, the best.

Evening was starting to fall over Khayalitsha township as the two walked home. They kicked pebbles and pushed eachother playfully. “Come! Mzoli, come!” Lungi pushed him and started running forward; the sleeves of his big jacket flapped against the sides of his boney legs. “Look, I can see a fire!”
Mzoli followed him as he raced down a dusty alley, his silhouette quickly decreasing as he sped towards the flames.

The orange flames flicked against the cardboard and slates of the alley. Their orange glow beckoned the two boys, alluring as a hypnotist. Come to meeeee, Come to meeee the flames popped and crackled. Lungi arrived, out of breath he gasped a bit. “Mzoli come, come, it’s hot here.”
Mzoli caught up to him and stood mesmerized in front of the flames. It felt good to feel the warmth against his skin. And he forgot about his hunger for a moment as he stood, his vision blurring in the smoky haze.

All of a sudden Mzoli heard Lungi scream. “What you got for me boy?” A dark shadow appeared out of the alley and whispered menacingly into Lungi’s ear a knife tip glinting in the fire.
“He hasn’t got anything! We don’t have anything.” The sight of his friend in trouble made Mzoli brave. “You can look.”
“Take off your jacket mfana,” the voice demanded, it’s tone as cutting as the blade it held. Lungi struggled out of his jacket, the bread tumbled from his pocket to the floor. The hands loosened their hold, grabbed the jacket and bread and pushed Lungi forward. “Go home. Run. I said go!”

Lungi and Mzoli ran, stumbling over broken stones in the dark night, they hurried from the alley. After a fair distance Mzoli stopped, he couldn’t run more.“It’s ok now. You alright Lungi?”
“Yes, you Mzoli? You alright?”
“He had a knife…”
“Yes, a big one.”
“He took your jacket.”
“I know, I like that jacket. But he didn’t take you, or me? We ok Mzoli!” Lungi started to dance in the street his voice loud all of a sudden, “We ok Mzoli; we ok!”
He was smiling that same crazy monkey smile. “WE OK!”Mzoli couldn’t help but laugh. Only Lungi would be able to smile after an event like that. He was a good friend, the best.
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This article has been read 457 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Tracy Nunes 
06/14/14
You have wonderful imagery. I especially loved this: His toes peaked out the front of his shoes and the rubber sole was peeling gently from the worn canvas like a toothless smile. I could just see it. I was a little confused about the source of the fire and its meaning in the story, but other than that, I think it had great pacing and the characters were very engaging.
Larry Whittington
06/16/14
It is sad to say this is a well written "real to life" story in some places. The kids get the worst end of the deal.

We can't help everywhere but we should help where we are.

It is good to be reminded of this.
C D Swanson 
06/17/14
Quite the story! WEll written and well done.

God bless~
C D Swanson 
06/19/14
Congratulations!

God Bless~
Dave Walker 
06/22/14
A great piece of writing. Vividly descriptive of what happens, unfortunately, all too often in our beloved Cape Town. But the eternal optimism and resilience of your characters makes them shine.