Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Facepalm (05/15/14)
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TITLE: Jesus can fish!! | Previous Challenge Entry
By Robert Douglas Brown
05/20/14 -
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Simeon, a teen that was the same age of Jesus, was Jesus’ best friend. They worked hard to help support their families and lived a life that pleased their Heavenly Father along with their earthly fathers.
One sunny day after the young teens had completed their chores for their families, they got permission to go down to the Sea of Galilee to see how fishing was going for the local fishermen.
“Jesus, let’s go take a walk to the far end of Nazareth to see what is going on. I heard that there is a contest to see who can throw a 1 pound rock the longest distance at an old brass bull that was once a pagan idol worshiped by Philistines. Are you interested?”
Jesus’ best friend Simeon was always looking for something fun to do such as this.
“I think we should stay away from that in that I do not think my father Joseph would approve.”
“Come on Jesus, let's at least see what is going on.” pleaded Simeon.
“Why don’t we walk to the Sea of Galilee and see how the fishermen are doing today?”
“That sounds like a good idea Jesus, you always seem to come up with really fun things to do,” said Simeon.
The boys walked happily down to the Sea of Galilee. It was a very pretty day. The sun shone brightly as it cast its rays off of the sky blue waters of the sea.
“Jesus, do you see what I see over by the lake’s cove?”
“I have been watching them for the last 5 minutes, Simeon.”
“How do you do that Jesus? You always seem to be a few steps ahead of me.”
A group of fishermen were gathered together sitting on some rocks next to their boats. There was an air of dark despair among them as they sat with their hands over their eyes and forehead.
“I do not know what we are going to do my friends; we have not caught any fish in 5 days.” lamented Benjamin hopelessly.
Benjamin was no doubt the best fisherman ever to catch fish from the Sea of Galilee. His group of fishermen fed many families in the area. If they did not start catching fish very soon, things would quickly get bad for the good people that depended on them for food.
“I am deeply saddened; we need to start catching fish very soon.” spoke Benjamin as a tear rolled down his cheek.
About this time, Jesus and Simeon had made their way to the group of anguished fishermen.
“You must be Jesus, Joseph’s son. I have heard that you know a lot about fishing for someone your age.”
Jesus knew that Benjamin was a good, righteous man that cared very much about the people he provided with fish, and Benjamin somehow knew that Jesus could help the fishermen.
“I think I can help you men. Starting tomorrow, try fishing on the other side of the lake. The water there is much clearer.”
The group of fishermen asked if Jesus and Simeon would walk with them to inform those that were depending on fresh fish for their families.
“I do not know if you and your family were aware of the problems that my fishermen and I have had with catching fish for the past several days. We are doing everything possible to catch fish for all of our families.”
Benjamin and his fishermen were heart-broken to have to bring such bad news. They had always provided fish for their families and much of the population throughout Nazareth, for many years without any shortages of fish.
“I am sure most of you know Jesus and his friend Simeon. Jesus told my fishermen and me today, that we should try fishing on the other side of the sea starting tomorrow. I trust Jesus completely, and know that things will be better soon.”
The next day was beautiful and the fishermen had reached the other side of the sea. Sounds of joy rang out as the catches came in. That day and forward, the fishermen caught bounties of fish and fed their friends and families with a plethora of the best fish from the sea.
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Nice descriptions intermingled with truths from the Bible. Well done.
Keep writing for His glory!
God bless~
Very well done!
While there is nothing wrong with writing Biblical fiction as long as you note it (which you did), you may want to try and stay true to the events. It was my understanding that Jesus was 30 or so when he started his miracles.
I loved how you inserted his best friend into the story. I have a feeling Jesus did draw people to him, even as a young teen.
You may want to work on tightening up some of your sentences and varying the sentence structure so the lines become hills and valleys. Take your opener for example, you could tweak it and tighten it up by doing something like this: At age thirteen, Jesus was declared a man by the Jewish laws; however, in many ways he still enjoyed behaving like a child. He had a delightful sense of humor, and, at times, he enjoyed chilling with his best buddy, Simeon.
You also may want to use some dialog to help move the story along. For example: One sunny day, Jesus and Simeon raced across the yard, screeching to a halt right in front of Mary. "Mom, Simeon and I want to go down to the docks and watch the fisherman. Can we please?" Jesus tipped his head, raised his righteyebrow and pulled the left side of his lip into a partial smile. He knew his mother had a hard time resisting that look.
Looking down at her beloved son, Mary raised both eyebrows as she wiggled her finger in Jesus' face. "Have you finished all of your chores young man?"
I added some details to help paint more of a picture for the reader, as well as using modern dialog so today's kids could relate more to young Jesus.
I think this is an out-of-the-box story and enjoyed your creative take on the topic. I think you did a great job of developing your characters and gave the reader a sense of who young Jesus was in your mind. I find thoughts about those years quite intriguing. Keep writing, you have a lot of great stories in you.
Luke is one of my favorite books in the Bible because he tells a little more about young Jesus than most. In this story, the verses in Luke came to life.
Keep up the wonderful work!
God Bless!
Your content is a really great idea. It's fun to speculate on Jesus' childhood. There are many folk stories about it, but some of them are really out there.
If you don't mind I'd like to critique this one thru direct email. Give me a couple days.
Keep up the good work. Praying for your knee.
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