The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 789 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a brilliant idea. I loved how well we got to know the characters through the journal. It was a great read.

Some tiny bits of red ink: When you use ellipses, they are always done with three dots. If it is at the end of a completed sentence (not just trailing off) then add a period. The experts disagree about whether there should be spaces or not. The common consensus is this . . . rather than this...
The most important thing is to stay consistent.
I did wonder if a person would actually use them while journaling, but I can see a certain type of personality (like your MC) doing it. However, I find it hard to believe that a college female would wear the same sweater over and over. Most girls are quite fussy about their appearance and style. I know more teens who would change their outfit several times a day. I wonder if it would be more believable had the MC been younger.

However, even with that said, I thought your idea was creative and fresh. You definitely covered the topic. I liked your idea of giving the reader a peek into the MC's thoughts via the diary. The ending was great. It's what I call God throwing bricks at me. I can be hard-headed and ignore him so to get through to me he tosses some bricks in my direction. :) Nice job.
11/10/12
This kept my interest...I especially liked the progression of this piece...God bless and thanks for sharing...
11/14/12
I think I get your metaphor. Your MC was comfortable in her clothes--comfortable and confident. They made her feel safe and important, but she couldn't see what they looked like to other people. She saw only through her own filter and wasn't hearing what the Lord was telling her. I could identify with that--but I think Shann makes a valid point that a college-age girl NOT changing her clothes is a little unbelievable. HOWEVER . . . if you were going for the satire of it--trying to highlight how ridiculous we humans can all be sometimes when we stay in our own comfort zones and in our own ideas, maybe it does work. That's the craft of writing--making what works for us work in our readers. I think this is a good piece because it will make people think. What could you do to get a reader to let go of his unbelief? I don't know . . .maybe doing that would defeat the purpose of the piece.
11/15/12
Since I keep a diary/journal, I was interested in reading about your MC's week. I liked how the daily Scripture verses fit with what was going on in her life, and I loved the line at the end that said, "I changed my clothes...God is changing my heart." There is a good message in this story! :)
11/15/12
CONGRATULATIONS, Linda, on your first place level win!! WAY TO WRITE!! :D
11/15/12
I absolutely adored how you used journaling to illustrate God's methods of speaking to us!
Wonderful and creative entry-congratulations on your level win. Write on.
Congratulations on your first place in level one and for ranking 18th overall!