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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Barbeque/Cookout (09/06/12)
Recently a friend of mine invited me to a cookout she was having. She had also invited friends she reconnected with through Facebook. She invited each one to her house for the same day to reminisce, each not knowing the others would be there. She was hopeful all would be surprised.

She planned on having hamburgers and barbecue sandwiches for the cookout, a favorite when she and her friends were in high school. Finley the day arrived for the cookout her friends were not aware of. All six friends arrived about the same time and were surprised and pleased to see each other. The rain came down shortly after the girls arrived making the out-door gathering an indoor event.

Though her horror Mary my friend found out five of the girls had become vegetarians. Mary's daughter and I realize her dilemma left to go the the local grocery store. We bought more fruits, fruit salad and a variety of meatless salads. When we returned with the groceries Mary smiled with relief and was thankful.

It was the a discussion among the guest was getting heated. The topic, should Christians belong to a church. Mary realized she should do something. She slipped a Christian CD in her player, soon the voice of a singer singing My God Is An Awesome God bellowed in the room. All talk stopped to sing along. Mary let the second song play also, Be Not Afraid to further lighten the mood.

It turned out to be a wonderful day for all, with surprises for all. All stayed in touch via e-mail, Facebook, phone, and get togethers.
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This article has been read 680 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
09/13/12
I liked the tone of this entry and enjoyed the MC's wisdom to solve the "crisis afoot" with Praise and Worship music. God is an awesome God. I enjoyed this!

God Bless~
Lynn Smith
09/14/12
I like how you had the friends come to the main characters aid right away, and also how you used the worship music to stop what could have ended in an argument.

Good job and God bless.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
09/14/12
This is a charming story. You did a nice job of writing on topic. Also by suggesting the friends would be surprised brought some suspense to the story. Would it be a good surprise or a bad one?

You had a few typos that a proofreader would help you catch. It is not breaking the rules to have someone help you polish it up before submitting it. If you need help finding someone send me a PM and I'll help you. There are some little things that would make your story pop a bit more. For example if you tightened up the first paragraph to something like this--Recently a friend of mine invited me and some others to a cookout. No one knew that friends from the past would also be attending. Hopefully, a day spent reminiscing would be a delightful surprise to all.
I tried not to change it too much, but condense it so it flows a bit better.

I liked how the hostess managed to distract the others by playing some beautiful songs. Those are two of my favorite ones and I know they would be perfect for bringing a small group of people together. Keep writing and spreading the message that the Holy Spirit lays on your heart. I think you'd be surprised at the number of people you can touch with your words. :)