The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/24/05
Truly God is good. Even when others don't believe in what we're doing, if we are faithful to God's plan, they will eventually come around! Thanks!
10/25/05
You are definitely a good writer, and you've created a fully realized character in Miriam. The only problem I have is in her use of modern idioms like "No way, Jose." Bible stories can be retold in a modern setting very effectively, or they can be imagined as they might really have happened, but this has elements of both, and so it jars the reader. Nevertheless, your writing is skillful and the relationship between Miriam and Japheth is very effective. Nice epilog, too. Well done!
10/29/05
Pretty good dialogue, and the pace built nicely, then crunch, almost a let down. Probably, the word constriction bothered this retelling. As said above, I agree, watch the modern idioms.