Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Eternity (03/10/11)
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TITLE: Journey to Eternity | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dawn Fabre
03/17/11 -
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She worried even more about what she must look like. If the outside looked anything like the inside, she was frazzled and frayed. She was blackened from the dirt and grime she had stumbled through and her hair must truly be a sight; she was a mess. She had made too many mistakes to even try to keep count of anymore. She only hoped this man would help her the way her friend promised he would. She wasn’t so confident about it. If he knew all, there was no way he could overlook it. There was no way he would help this tired, pitiful soul if he knew the truth.
She neared the top and noticed the atmosphere was different here. It was lighter, easier, and clearer. She could feel the vice around her chest ease as she filled her lungs with long, deep breaths of the clean air. She continued to climb; with each step growing stronger and more sure of her direction. It was as if she was being drawn by something she couldn’t comprehend, but she knew she ultimately would if she just kept going.
Finally, she reached the top, yet nothing was there-nothing except an old, rugged cross. She didn’t understand. What was going on? Where was this man, this savior? Had she come all this way, gone through so much, just to find an empty cross? Suddenly, she heard her name whispered ever so softly, almost as if on the wind. She followed the still, small voice as it drew her into the nearby garden.
It was shaded and serene; a welcome respite from the harsh mountain she had just scaled. She entered slowly, with uneasiness, yet certain of the way. She wandered along the narrow path to a small clearing where she found an empty tomb. Now, she was truly confused. She did not feel lost, just bewildered. She knew this was where she was meant to be, yet there was no one here. Still, she felt called, almost pulled to this place. Then, from behind, she again heard her name gently called in that same still, small voice.
Slowly, she turned. Rather than the apprehension she expected, a wave of tranquility washed over her. Before her stood the face of peace, the picture of grace, the glow of love. The tenderness of his gaze brought her to her knees. She knew she didn’t deserve to be in his presence, yet she knew she never wanted to leave this perfect place. As he stepped toward her, she did not fear him. Instead, she found herself reaching, almost falling to him. Suddenly, she remembered her disheveled appearance and the dread she had felt earlier at what he would think of her. Rather than turn away from her, though, he stepped toward her and said, “Come to me you who are burdened and weary, and I will give you rest. I have forgiven your wickedness and remember your sins no more. For as far as the East is from the West, I have removed your transgressions from you. Come and follow me, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” She stepped forward, took his nail scarred hand, and embraced her eternity.
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I kept thinking this was Biblical fiction, and it is, but I kept expecting a familiar story. Not really a criticism, though. :)
I loved how you presented this.