Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Communication Breakdown (12/16/10)
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TITLE: Whispering Pines | Previous Challenge Entry
By Charmaine Austen-Dreyer
12/22/10 -
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The years has come and gone, a baby born to a family, like so many others, with hopes and dreams for a future bright and beautiful and the believe that life is like an oyster, to be opened, discovering a pearl that could make all dreams come true.
Now knowing, the first “see” of my Mother’ face, albeit in a blur, the look - I have as part of the cells that was shaped and formed by Abba of hopes and dreams to be fulfilled, to be accepted, loved & trusting with total dependence. The blank, clean sheets of a book, page for page, the start of me and filling this book of life with writing, while my life story is created.
As I ponder, staring up into the abyss of the tall pine trees, I hear……..listen…….feeling the wind whispering through the branches, with their own communication, sometimes softly and when the rain starts falling down in droves, a storm raging through the pine branches and the whispering becoming a swishing sound, bringing the wonderment of nature into my life, sometimes a whisper, sometimes overwhelming my inner being with the swishing sounds of the pine branches whipping the pain and hurt through my body. As the storm dies down, letting go, knowing because I know, because I know, Abba’ whisper: “…you are not in the driver’s seat, I am” (Matthew 16:24-26 (The Message)
I walk into the garden, sit on the garden bench, surrounded by pine trees, thinking back, listening, searching, opening my soul to peace beyond all understanding – the Jesus peace. I turn the pages of my book, understanding how the first look and see format a life, to the here and now.
The mirror image of who Mother is, through circumstances, good and bad, that formed her life until and beyond the writing of “my book of life”. The acceptance, trust and love as I was formed in Mother’ womb, created by our Omnipotent, Omnipresent God, Creator of all!
I was not wanted, fighting for my life while growing and becoming me. It was complicated for her, she so wanted not to have me and tried so hard to remove the added complication to a life that was in turmoil, losing her own Mother, my Grand-Mother, at the age of ten. This formed her life from here henceforth. How could she then communicate what the void was doing to her, who could she tell that she believed she is not wanted? She built her life on the emptiness of wanting to belong , be accepted by some-one, no matter the consequences.
She had not found Jesus, although she knew to believe.
And here I am, a “broken” child that became a “broken” adult with two of her own, having the know, because I know, somehow through it all, I am loved by God. A baby born, taking on the brokenness of a Mother, entering this world, a life turned upside down, inside out, fighting for survival, acceptance. Then the “die in self” through the rejection of my own daughter, being taught and guided through Jesus’ unconditional Love: God sent His Only Son, given to Mary & Joseph, through the Holy Spirit, born as a Baby, growing up as a Carpenter’s boy, teaching and healing throughout three years of His adult life, and then crucified, with the singing of the Angels, declaring the wonder of the risen Christ, whom ascended to heaven and now resides with God, His Father, in Heaven. In this He gives us eternal life! God sacrificed His Son, for each and every baby born into this world, a world of brokenness, secrets not spoken, the pain and hurt that each and every child receives through the eyes of their Mother. It is not fair but righted by God, through Jesus, his Son and the Holy Spirit to guide and teach us in a still, soft voice, like the wind whispering through the pines.
Through the reading of my life pages, I eco, with peace and joy, the wind whispering through the branches of the pine trees - Jesus came to heal the broken - He restores the wounded - He opens the doors for communication and declares: Jesus is ALIVE!
and,
for my growing up years, paging and recalling more chapters of my life story, I let it stand over for another time – when I will share the Healers touch and taking the wrong, turning it into victory, for His Glory.
Until next time – Shalom!
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One suggestion as you seek to hone the craft: Put white spaces between thoughts. It just makes it easier for the reader to follow your thoughts. And what you have to say is good, so you don't want to lose readers as they attempt to follow your words!
Keep writing!
A little red ink, ellipses should only have three dots. Also make sure if you have a plural subject that you use the plural form of the verb ex has VS have
your piece is a strong one and it
Overall
God has definitely given you something important to say. Keep writing, you're doing a great job!
the theme too seems to come from your heart and ring true. There are a few editorial improvements in spelling and so on that will come as you come to do the challenge regularly I am sure.Your writing feels like an uncut diamond at the moment..... full of promise and beauty.
looking forward to seeing more :-)
Keep writing and and you be rewarded.