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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)
OW!

A little boy fell on his way to school,
Great big tears in his eyes they glistened and pooled,
He bruised his arm and skinned his knee,
Only one word came out as his plea…..
Ow!

A little girl took her doll for a walk,
Pushing her carriage she smiled as she talked.
Not watching her step, a bump she did hit,
Her dolly fell out, on her bottom she did sit….
Ow!

A teenager took her dads car for a spin,
Met her friend at the mall; pulled up with grin.
“Wow! Neat wheels, let’s go have ourselves some fun,”
Pulling out, hit a car now has one taillight broken,
Ow!

Mom planted her garden with carrots and peas,
Her hands were all dirty; she was down on her knees.
Above her a bee kept hovering and flirting,
Then swooped down and stung, the sound wasn’t pretty.
Ow! Ow! Ooooowwwww!


This word gets used by the old and the young,
Whatever the hurt Ow! escapes from the tongue.
This word may be small, but the message is clear,
When following your pain, OW! is a word most sincere.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Colin Swann
01/15/10
Double points for topic. I liked your use of the exclamation Ow! in your piece - quite inventive. Thanks - Colin
Jan Ackerson
01/18/10
Fun little poem!

I was waiting for a final verse with the "take home" lesson.

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".

I like your rhyme scheme and meter very much, and your use of the topic word at the end of each stanza.