The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/31/09
I really like this poem.

The meter could use some work, especially the last two lines.

You painted some great images here! Great job.
11/01/09
Very good poetry with great images and message, as the previous commenter said it needs some work on meter in a few places like the end.

May I suggest?
"For each of us He came to die.
Forever the apple of God's eye."

You have some real talent here so keep writing!

11/02/09
Vivid descriptions of God's wonderful creation. Good job.