Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Childhood (09/03/09)
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TITLE: "Reversing Adulthood" | Previous Challenge Entry
By Machele Harrison
09/10/09 -
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A letter from my Father!
I shared so much last time.
I thought I’d been a bother.
“Maturity” I wrote,
“I know should increase with age.
But why in my own life
isn’t it easier to gauge?
In merit I have grown:
A career, a car, a home.
I loved all earthly dreams.
So, why do I seem to roam?
I’ve taken charge in life.
Responsible I have been.
Honor I gained from friends,
and family hearts I win.
I daily say my prayers,
and church I do attend.
I always read the Word,
and rules I do not bend.
But I’m starting now to see,
as a child I felt more free.
I had no skills or merit.
No career or car, just me!
Responsible I was not.
And, true honor of a friend?
How to pray I did not know,
and would church ever end?
How, Dad, did this come to pass?
As a child I felt more free?
With time you’ve taught me much
on wisdom and maturity!”
To my Precious Daughter:
“I’m so glad to hear from you.
Long time since you last wrote.
We’ve not spoken since then too.
You’ve inquired much of me,
and you’ve answered much yourself.
With age you have acquired
achievements, friends, and wealth.
You’re faithful to the church,
and the Word you read each day.
Your family loves you much,
and I know you stop to pray.
But responsibility
is not maturity.
Merit and skills are great.
But in success that matters,
These don’t carry any weight.
Success that truly matters
is spiritual and of heart.
It’s the kind you had in youth,
when you knew to play no part.
You did not seek approval.
You knew I loved you so.
You believed all things I said.
Your innocent faith would glow.
In childhood there’s no doubt,
or discouragement and fears.
There’s no sense of merit
or failures causing tears.
Responsibility
means worry and distraction.
True success can dissipate
As life seems cut in fractions.
You can reverse adulthood
and relinquish all control.
You can cast your cares upon me,
and learn how to be whole.
You do not have to doubt me.
I’ve watched you all my life.
You can trust me in these matters.
It will free you from such strife.
Please listen to me always,
and seek my heart instead.
Get rid of self-righteousness,
and in spirit you’ll get ahead.
You are not alone in this.
The other children are the same.
Failure sometimes is a must
to teach them of true fame.
I love you, Oh Dear Daughter!
I died to take your place.
I know that life is difficult…
That’s another reason for my grace.
You can reverse adulthood
and live so fearlessly.
Because you’re an eternal child,
and BEFORE were one to me!”
Love,
Father God
Matthew 18:4 “Therefore whoever humbles himself as
this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven.”
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I left a comment for you on your Autumn piece - I don't have private messenger either.
Man Child was my first poem so I don't really know much about it so far but it seems that the biggest thing to try to keep "tight" is meter and rhythm.
Try to keep the number of syllables in the lines consistent, as well as which syllables are stressed.
For example, you might have 8 syllables in lines 1 and 3, and 6 syllables in lines 2 and 4.
It's so easy to forget about syllables and use 7 or 9 on lines that should have 8.
Then there's freestyle poetry...and I know nothing about that yet.
You can google "types of poetry" and find some really good stuff on the various structures. Feel free to email me if you like - [email protected].