The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/18/09
I like your story a lot. It was very refreshing. I liked the gap between grandma and grandson being mended with a common interest. Thank you for sharing. Laura
07/19/09
What a good story. So true to real life and the reactions of youngsters to changes to their plans and thier initial dislike of the older generation for spoiling things. I had no idea HOW you were going to turn it round and liked the way you did it.
One suggestion would be to be more consisted with the way you place the speech. Some times you have put it on individual lines and sometimes within the paragraph. There is alot of speech in this but it is good. I suggest use seperate lines throughout but maybe doublespacing not needed.
07/20/09
A good story. Watch the dialogue tags. You don't need to use tons of variety like exclaimed or commented unless it adds to the way the words are being said. Overall, this is a creative piece.