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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Twilight Years of Life (07/02/09)
I died today and the first thing I felt was pain from a slap across my bottom, and I cried. Not because I knew I was dead, but because somewhere deep down inside I felt that I could expect a lot more pain and suffering to come in my death. When I looked around the room that I died in I saw my dad. He seemed to be so proud that I was dead. Passing out cigars with a big smile on his face. I glanced at my mother and she seemed to be in some type of pain of her own. She had tears in her eyes. I don’t know if she was crying from the effort of pushing me to my death, or because she had knowledge of the hardships that death had in store for me.

I was born today and when I looked down at the body that had me trapped in death I smiled because I was no longer dead. My whole family seemed to be in agony over my birth, crying and feeling down, because I was gone. I wanted to say to them, “Please don’t feel despair, because I’m with our Father now, and when it becomes time for any of you to be born, I will be right there in the room with our Father delivering you from death.”

LOST???

Has it ever crossed your mind that we could be living a lie,
That the moment we was born is really the moment we die?

And for nine months long we wait in a tomb,
So we can be sent to our death from our mothers womb?

Just like God sent Jesus from heaven to earth.
When he died on the cross, was that his death or his birth?

Because we all knows he went to a better place.
From the look in his eyes, and the smile on his face.

So could by chance that life be fate?
Do we die when we’re born to set our soul straight?

And when we die, are we born into a better place,
Where no is the color, and all is the race?

So when it’s your turn to leave this earth,
Rejoice and smile because it’s your birth.

And worry not about the things that you left,
Because life doesn’t start until after death.
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This article has been read 696 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Sara Harricharan
07/09/09
Very interesting thoughts shared in this piece. You picked a good format to showcase it. My only note is one typo-in the second line of the verses, "was" would make more sense if changed to "were". Thank you for sharing this.
Donna Powers
07/09/09
Very intriguing view of life and death. I really was confused for a bit, but you straightened us out very well.
Dawne Biggs
07/10/09
This is very thought provoking and very well written. It seems you put a lot of thought in to this. It is excellent!
Karlene Jacobsen 
07/10/09
The first paragraph had me a bit confused, however, I've been learning that in God, most--if not all--things are inverted from their right state.

Well done.
Connie Cusey
07/14/09
All I can say is WOW. Very well written and makes you really think about life and death. thanks
Noel Mitaxa 
07/15/09
From a first glance it looked like going from 'sad to verse," but your descriptions stirred me to recall that God always has a bigger picture beyond any impossible barrier. Thanks for the positive challenge.
Laura Manley
07/15/09
All I can say is...excellent! It would seem you put a great deal of effort into this piece - it shows. In the fourth verse of the poem, I believe when you said "knows," you meant "know." Very good! Laura