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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Empty and Full (06/04/09)
A faint gray and shadowy mist completely enveloped the surrounding air, a ghost like cloak, not quite fog, yet still resembling that peculiar vapor in some strange way. It moved constantly, slowly, yet somehow always seemed to remain in the same place. A figure in the far distance was crouched in front of a huge chest. As I focused my attention on the peculiar form, the entire vista moved nearer. I realized as the vision drew closer, that I was watching myself place various objects in this strange wooden container. “What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m going to stuff this box as full as I can, pack it to the rim, with all my good deeds.” The not so humble reply was quickly followed with an explanation. “Scripture says to lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven. So I’m storing up my piety in hope of enriching my eternity.”

Even though it was myself that answered my own question, the individual seemed quite unfamiliar. “What is that you’re putting in?” I asked.

I doubt I have ever received a stranger look in all my living days. Eyes which seemed to be filled with question, also glared with indignity, and scorn.
“My good deeds.” Came the snap retort. “Our good deeds.” “I’ve been putting things in here for as long as I can remember. All our life.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to seem dense, but what exactly are you putting in there?”

“Here’s my tithe. This is my church attendance record. My devotions. Oh! Here’s the time I told our cousin Philip that Christ died for his sins.”

“Is your heart in the box?”

“My heart?”

“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
“Is your heart in the box?”

We both leaned over and peered in at the exact same time. Surprised, we immediately looked at one another, then, involuntarily commented in unison.

“It’s empty!”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Connie Dixon
06/14/09
The idea of us storing our treasures in Heaven must make God laugh out loud, (or grieve out loud). When will we get back to the basics and do that which will glorify Him and not ourselves? Great thoughts.
Holly Jensen
06/15/09
I like this piece. The only thing that might need a bit of work is that the ending is a little abbrupt. though you may have done this on purpose. Good job!
Paul Johnson
06/16/09
Nice job.
Catrina Bradley
06/19/09
Intriguing read! I enjoyed your story a lot - especially the ending. Thank you! And congratulations on being Highly Commended this week!