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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Light and Dark (05/21/09)
Closing her eyes, Libby turned her face up into the sun and let the rays soak through her skin and into her soul. It felt good to feel the heat course through her body. She inhaled and smiled at the aromas she thought she’d never experience again, grass, flowers, hamburgers cooking on a grill. The sounds all around her, dogs barking, kids laughing, cars racing, rang joyously through her ears and brought her once perpetually turned down mouth up into a smile. Opening her eyes she squinted at the bright ball in the sky. A person who experienced sun on a daily basis would automatically, without even thinking, shield their eyes from the intense brightness, but not Libby. Even the slight pain of the bright light piercing her eyes was better than anything she had experienced in the last four years. Never again would she take advantage of being alive. She was so happy she felt like dancing….again. It started at her toes and worked its way up until her entire being was moving to music only she could hear. If people were watching her, she didn’t care. She’d be more than happy to tell them why she was dancing and why she never wanted to stop.
Collapsing onto the grass, she felt every blade against her flesh. It seemed all of her senses were on overdrive. Everything smelled, sounded, tasted, and felt differently and she wanted this feeling to last for the rest of her life. And to think it was only a couple of months ago she wanted to end it all. Right there in her windowless cell. She would have too. She had thought day and night about how and when to do it. It was the day she had marked on her calendar, the day she was to take her life that he showed up. Pastor Evan. His friendship and the life giving words he offered changed her from the inside out. Jesus. His story. His Salvation. His Purpose for her. Though it took a few weeks before she asked Jesus into her heart and life, the timing was perfect. On the day she was released from her prison of despair, grief and hopelessness she was also released from the prison that held her physically captive. Held for an act she always insisted was self-defense. As hard as it would be to face her uncle again, she was ready to talk to him. After all, God had given her a second chance; she would give her uncle a second chance as well. Only by the Grace of God could she even consider such a thing. And then, in God’s perfect timing, she would share Jesus with him like Pastor Evan shared with her. She was confident the day would come when Jesus would take her uncle from his black world, confident she and her uncle would one day dance in the sun together.
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This article has been read 711 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Mary Dahl
05/28/09
Thank you for your article. I especially liked your description at the beginning, and the glimpse into Libby's transformation and how that would effect her future. Very nice.
Brenda Rice
05/29/09
Great title and so very descriptive in the beginning. I was feeling it with Libby, the sounds, smells and sights. Good story. Thanks for writing it.
Janice Fitzpatrick
05/29/09
Good job, and voice is believable. Keep on writing! God bless your gift.:0)
Jan Ackerson
05/29/09
You did a good job with showing us Libby's extreme joy.

It would be easier to read with paragraphing, and I really felt like I wanted more background into what had happened...maybe a little flashback?

Nice imagery throughout this little story.
diana kay
06/03/09
lovely descriptions. some paragraphs would help but as it waqs so interesting and engaging I read it all anyway! I do think the uncle part is unsatisfactory as it is introduced without suspense and it just intrudes into what is a complete story without him.Just dictch the last few sentences as in my view the finish of her release is enough.
Piper Harding
06/03/09
Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read my article and given feedback. I always learn so much from submitting my articles. These challenges help me grow as a writer and I appreciate all the comments.

I agree, paragraphs are a great thing.( : I did indeed have a paragraph in there, but every time I went to view it...no paragraph. I tried three times. The paragraph should be at "Collapsing onto the grass..."