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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Before and After (05/14/09)
Completely Yours

The dark haired blue eyed muscular man who adores me fathers my two beautiful children, one son and one daughter. Our four bedroom ranch style home is near a park. On Saturdays, we spend our day swinging our children on swings and watch as they roll down grassy hills. The children never complain and always get along.

Emptiness will remain until I make this my reality. Broken relationship after broken relationship, rejection and failure, what’s the matter with me? The more I give the more I lose. Men proclaim their love for me and I believe them, giving them my body in exchange for empty words. They tell me how much they love me. Each time I believe them. Each time I expect a man to bring me happiness. Part of my soul dies with each relationship. I’m left with a deeper void manifested with regret and shame. The love I chase is a mirage.

That my immorality is destroying me does not faze me – until it ruins me. It leaves a heavy film of bitterness that blocks the light that Jesus died for me. Satan subtly made what is Biblically wrong seem right by using my emotions to control me. I do not receive God’s love. I could not love myself or others in a healthy way.

In my twenties, I repent. I surrender to God. Deep sorrow leads me to the cross. He forgives and forgets all of my wrong doing. I know I don’t deserve it. I look ahead to what He has created me to be. Pursuing His love changes my perspective. He fills the emptiness. He teaches me that the only one I need to be whole is Him. Through prayer, His Word, and the willingness to receive what He has to offer, I start to see who I am in Christ. He is the only One who can complete me; no man is capable of giving me the unconditional love or loyalty that He gives. I receive God’s love and draw nearer to Him. I find my soul mate, Christ Jesus. He’s the only One who can make all the wrong in me right. Without Him, I am nothing. He shows me that my misery didn’t come from my circumstances, but it came from my choices. And I had shut Him out.

Little by little, He reveals that I am beautifully created. His hands made me unique and perfect. My sense of self worth rises as I begin to see what He sees in me, a vessel full of purpose to glorify Him. My failures are not final; they do not define me. Instead, He uses them to reveal His greatness, a process of being transformed for His glory. Peace follows as I receive God’s love and give up my independence. My heart is changing. My mind is changed. And the need to be loved vanishes. I no longer yearn for the perfect man. He’s by my side. With God, I am not disappointed because I know that He works everything out for my good. Being whole in Christ gratifies. I’m filled with an indescribable joy that nobody can give or take away. I trust Him.

My priority is my oneness with Christ. He is worthy to be praised for all things; the world belongs to Him and everything in it. Change comes through prayer. The more I seek His face, the more I know Him. And the more I know Him, the more I love Him. His fulfillment is not for sale, it’s free, but it’s also a choice. I can be full of myself or full of Him. It’s the difference between darkness and light. And I choose light.


God fills the void that I searched so hard to fill. Emotion no longer masquerades truth. I wake up faithfully and say, “Lord, Your will be done,” including choosing a mate for me. If having a significant other is in His plan, then I know that it will come to pass in His time. He is in control.

Though my dream of a perfect man hasn’t become my reality, God’s plan for me is always perfect. And by following Him, I can expect no less than what He promises in His Word, His everlasting love. No one can compare. I have more than I deserve, I have Jesus. And everyday is marvelous when I wake up to His face.

Christ fills everything in everyway. Ephesians 1:23b-NCV
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Sara Harricharan
05/21/09
This reads like a journal entry. Transparent and heart-wrenching at the time to hear the MC speak of all her life's events. Nice touch with how the title hints at what is to come. A few grammatical errors-but nothing to worry about. good job.
Avigail David
05/22/09
I bless and praise God with you for the transforming and resurrection power He has mercifully given you through the cleansing Blood of our Saviour Jesus Christ.

1 Colossians 1:10-11 "That ye might walk worthy of the LORD unto all pleasing, being fruitful in very good work, and in creasing in the knowledge of GOD; Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, unto all patience and long suffering with joyfulness;"

God bless you as you completely surrender to Jesus and Him being your ALL in all.

You are so precious to our Father in Heaven.

Peace, grace and mercy to us, through the precious shed Blood of our Saviour Christ Jesus, dear friend.


Amy Edwards
05/24/09
This is amazing. Gods love is so beautiful and powerful to cleanse us and love us just as we are as we come to Him at the foot of the Cross broken, trying to find that missing part to complete us.